My Miracles Are Here

We welcomed Beckham Cale and Brody Kingston in the to the world on June 17th. I had a scheduled c-section since baby A was breech. The delivery went very smooth and both babies are as healthy as can be. Beckham was born at 9:09 and weighed 5lbs 6oz and was 18 in long. Brody was born at 9:10 and weighed 6lbs 2oz and was 20 in long. They are just perfect. I look at them and wonder why God decided to bless us with these two amazing babies. What did we do to deserve such miracles? It's amazing to think 4 years ago we longed for this day and now it's here. All the tears and heartache are worth what is before our eyes now. For those of you still longing for this day, trust me, when it comes you will feel the same way. Here are our miracles.

Brody


Beckham


Brotherly Love

Showers

I have been such a slacker on this blog. These boys are about to be here so I have a feeling it will get even worse, but once again I'll promise to try and be better. We had three showers for the boys. One from work, one from family and one from friends. I cannot even begin to describe how incredibly blessed we are to have all the people we do in our lives. Here are a few pics from the showers.









I will leave you with my latest belly pic and I will post another blog this week to update you on when these little stinkers should arrive.

In a Years Time

Wow what a difference a year makes. Yesterday was Mother's Day. A year ago this day was literally one of the most painful days of my Infertily journey. I remember starting the day out knowing I couldn't go to church because I didn't want to hear all the talk about mothers. I didn't want to have to hear the Pastor say Happy Mother's Day. So we skipped church. We then went to my mother in laws where I decided it would be a good idea to drown my sorrows in some wine. Great idea. I was pretty much in a daze the entire time I was there and just really wanted to lock myself in a room and cry. We then had to go make a stop by my moms house. Still in a daze and not really good company we decided to leave. As we were hugging my parents goodbye I lost it. And I mean really lost it! I remember saying I just don't understand why. It's not fair! This Mother's Day was after losing our baby too and that just added to the sadness and hurt. My parents just held me. After leaving there I decided I needed go talk to a friend. So I called up my friend Marie and went over to her house. Knowing what I know now I feel horrible about going over there because she had just found out she was pregnant and here I am being an emotional mess, but she is a great friend like that and was there for me. It felt good to talk to her and let out some more tears. (I truly am so thankful for all my friends that were there for me at this time) I went home that night and let out some more painful heartache. I will never forget the pain of that day and I will forever be aware on Mother's Day that there are so many woman out there hurting and longing to be a mother still.

This year Mother's Day was much happier for me. I had no fear of hearing those words. I could tell others Happy Mother's Day and not feel jealous. I am so thankful to God for the miracles that he is blessing us with this year. I cannot wait to be a mommy!

Nursery and More Updates

I'll start witht the nursery first. We have actually had this done for a while, but again I've been to lazy to post. That should be changing soon. I'll explain later. We had discussed when we were trying that if it was a girl I got to do the nursery and if it was a boy Robert got to do it. We just had to agree on what was picked. Robert wanted sports which was fine with me however I didn't want the cartoony (I may have made up that word) kind. So we found this one we both love called Cooperstown. It's more vintage. We thought we were going to have a hard time in the beginning because it is actually discontinued and we had to order from several different places. It all came together perfectly though. So here you go.








The only thing we are missing is the hamper and rug which we registered for. I cannot wait for my little boys to be sleeping in there. (which will be a while :)

Alright let's get to other business. The reason I plan on having more time(aka not be lazy) to blog is because my Dr is taking me off work at 32 wks. That's only 2 1/2weeks left of work. I'm actually really excited about this because I can rest and focus on keeping these boys in here as long as possible. My goal for now is 36 weeks but I definitely would like to go to 38 wks. I had my Specialist appointment yesterday and my cervical length is still measuring great at about 3.34 and the boys are getting big. Beckham weighs 2lb 13oz and Brody weighs 3lb 1oz. I'm so proud of how good they are doing. I also had my regular OB appointment. I had failed my 1 hour glucose so I had to do the 3 hour. It was miserable, but I PASSED!! YAY. I have now gained 40 lbs. I'm thinking it will be over 50 by the time I give birth. Hey they need room! I'm now measuring 37 wks. I find this hilarious! I have not thown up in almost 3 wks now. I have however gotten extremely uncomfortable in the past week. I am definitely feeling the strain of their weight. Sleeping is almost non existent. Breathing hahahah...... I feel like I"m going to think I can run a marathon once they are out. The past two weeks have been great though as far as feeling them goes. Their kicks have turned more in to rolls. I can just put my hand on my stomach and feel them move in there. It's truly the most amazing feeling in the world! 8 MORE WEEKS!!!!!

Playing Catch Up

Wow I have so much that has been on my mind that I want to write about, but again I've been too lazy to actually do it. I'll just start with one and then give a pregnancy update.

The other night while watching Grey's Anatomy a scene came up where one of the Drs is pregnant (by accident) but gets in a car wreck and they wind up delivering the baby at like 24 wks or so. There is another Dr(Meridith) on the show who her and her husband have suffered one miscarraige and have been unsuccesful in getting pregnant since. Well after the 24 wk old baby is born Meridith is in the elevator with her husband and she breaks down. Basically saying how she has to take shots and temperatures and she can't achieve pregnancy. My husband shouted out from the kitchen, you have been there babe. I cannot tell you the flood of emotions that came over me in that second. I never thought I could forget how painful TTC was, but in that moment I realized that I had because that pain swept over me for the first time in 7 months. It took me back to that exact feeling of defeat, anger, and heartbreak. It made me remember again to be so thankful for these two miracle boys God has given us. I still have friends that are dealing with infertilty and my heart breaks for them. I just don't understand why this happens to some while others have no problems at all. It's just not fair and I pray with all my heart that they will all be blessed very soon. Everyone deserves that chance to have a child of their own.

Pregnancy update! I am now a little over 27 weeks. I mean seriously, where is the time going? We had our first shower yesterday and it was amazing. We got our stroller, car seats and lots of diapers, blankets, etc. Having the shower makes this all so real. We have two more showers to go and then we will start getting together anything that is left. (Like we know what we need)The boys have been moving around like crazy. Just in the past two weeks it has turned in to more of rolling than kicking. Although Beckham still loves to kick my bladder and the bigger he gets the more it hurts! We went for our 4D last weekend and the little stinkers wouldn't turn their heads, so we are trying again tomorrow. We also have our maternity pictures tomorrow. I can't wait. I did my Glucose test this morning. I didn't find the taste of the drink to be as bad as just having an empty stomach. I'm pretty sure I would have puked if I had waited 10 min longer. I won't know the results until Monday. I have gained 30 lbs which I'm still content with. My prediction is it will be 50 total. I'm measuring 33wks..YIKES. They are weighing about 2 lbs each now. It's so crazy to think they will be here in about 9-11 wks. Robert and I are so ready.

23 Weeks and First ER Visit

Look at me posting again! Aren't you impressed? I will be 23 weeks tomorrow. Moving right along. I had my first ER trip of this pregnancy on 3/4/11. As soon as I left work that Friday I started having pretty bad upper gastric pain. At first I just really thought it was gas pain, but after 2 hours had passed and I was doubled over I told Robert we should probably go to the hospital. The good thing about being pregnant in an ER is they do not make you wait. They wheeled me right up to the womens center and got me hooked up to the monitors. I wasn't really scared for the babies because I knew I wasn't contracting and I could feel them kicking. They got their heartbeats then ordered an ultrasound. I love seeing those babies. They were moving around like crazy. One was even kicking the other one in his little pee pee. (They will come out boxing) The conclusion was my gall bladder. I had eaten horrible that day (very greasy) for every meal. I never do this and I never will again. They gave me some Loritab and sent me home. That was the best sleep I've gotten in 6 months! Can I have that every night please :) I'm so glad it wasn't something more serious and I can control it by my diet.

It seems crazy to think I only have about 14 weeks left of this pregnancy, but again I have to be honest I'm ready for it to be over. I have a high pain tolerance and I'm not doing well with all the aches and pains. My stomach has been going through a growth spurt and talk about PAIN. I had to sleep in the recliner the other night just to get somewhat comfortable. I still feel like this is just because of a twin pregnancy and may not be so bad with just one or maybe all you people that have been pregnant forgot about how it really was! Or just flat out lied to me lol. I still get sick daily. I still have some days where I'm just naseaus all day. I'm too the point where I just want to feel normal again. There are parts that I absolutely love though, like feeling them kick. They are getting stronger and I can see it from the outside. I could watch it for hours. I love my pregnant belly too! I really hate to complain about something that is such a miracle, but I don't want to lie about how I feel either. I know it's all going to be worth it and that's what gets me through. I haven't gained any more weight in the past 3 weeks. I'm suppose to gain 40 at least, so I need to get on it. I'm not sure I could eat any more than I already am. I'm sure the weight will come. I started working out so maybe that has something to do with it. Trust me though I am not trying to lose weight. I want my babies to have plenty of room. We have now finished our registry. Babies R Us takes a while. That place is huge and it's so intimidating not really knowing what all you need. I've been around lots of babies, but none that have lived with me 24/7. I'm sure we'll figure it out. I have stayed away from books just because I want to do it my way and not worry that my babies aren't doing it the way the book says. Ok that's enough rambling for one blog. Here is my 22 week pic. Sorry it's so dark.

21 Weeks

Ok I know I have been absolutely horrible at updating this and I don’t have a good excuse except for I’ve just been flat out lazy! I get home from work and all I want to do is change in to my pjs, eat dinner and sit in the recliner with the heating pad. And let me tell you….It’s Heaven 
Update on my pregnancy. As you can see from the title and my little ticker I am now 21 wks along. Holy cow when did this happen? I’m so amazed at how fast the time is flying by. All my Dr appointments have been going great and my little boys are looking so cute. I will see my specialist for the second time today. I can’t wait to see those cute little babies again. I will start my bi-weekly appointments next month. I’m pretty sure I am going to be all Dr’d out by the end of this. As if I wasn’t already from IVF. Ok so here are some bullet points.

Morning Sickness: I still throw up every morning first thing. After that I eat my waffles with peanut butter and a glass of milk and I’m good to go. It’s so refreshing to feel good during the day now. They are still grounded when they come out for making me so sick though. JK!
Weight Gain: Well this sure did change. If you remember at 15 wks I had only gained 6 lbs. Now at 21 wks I am up 17 lbs. My Dr assured me though that everyone has 10 lb months. WHEW! I’m still not concerned about my weight. I want what is best for these little guys. She expects me to gain at least 40 so I’m still right on track. . I’m happy to say it is all belly too.
Babies Room: We pretty much have the room put together. We still need a rug, curtains and to hang their names on the wall. And then of course just some added decorations. I love it. I love walking in there and being filled with the tears of joy that were replaced from tears of heartache.
Movement: I felt Beckham move for the first time on February 14th. Oh how amazing it was. I have been feeling them daily although it’s still not as prominent as I would like. I know, a million people have told me don’t wish too much for this because pretty soon you will be asking them to stop. Miserable and all I will still marvel at these little ones moving inside me. I’ve waited a long time for this feeling.
Daycare- This just makes me cry. I hate even talking about it. But it’s one of the things that have to happen. We found an in home daycare for a VERY affordable price. We really liked her and this is where the boys will go. I thought I would walk out of there happy because we find a place that we liked, but I was even sadder leaving. It means I really have to leave them. I really don’t know how I’m going to be able to do this.

I still have to admit that pregnancy is not at all what I expected it to be, but I’m starting to enjoy it more and more. I still get no sleep at night thanks to back pain and constant peeing, but I think I’m starting to adjust. Seeing my belly grow just makes me smile. I will update with pics later. I have so much to write about, but that is going to require me to stop being lazy. So maybe soon you will get more out of me. For now that is all the updates I have.