I had a moment today where I let jealousy and depression show it's horrid face. We have always been financially stable with extra money to do as we please. We make good financial decisions for our future and worked hard to have this luxury. Somewhere in the last few months this has been stripped from us and we now find ourselves wondering where gas money is going to come from and cancelling plans because we can't afford to go out. You can say that the financial strain from Infertility has finally set in. I know jealousy is a bad thing and God tells us not to be, but I have to admit that it is hard when i see so many others who don't have to spend thousands of dollars just to get pregnant. Or those who don't have to work for anything. Life seems like it comes so much easier to some. How is it fair that we can't even go have a date night because we are so broke from buying meds to "MAYBE" get pregnant. And don't get me wrong this is worth every dime to us because it is what we want and what we chose, but I wish we didn't have to put everything else on hold because of it. I just want a break from things. I want that reward. I'm ready for the reward.
Shots have been going good. My belly looks like a mini war zone, but that's ok. I have been giving them to myself and I'll let Robert do them every once and a while. He informed me last night that I better let him practice before the progesterone shots. The man has a point. One week from today is my first appointment. I can't wait!
5 comments:
I completely understand. Infertility is costly... money-wise and emotionally. It's sooo unfair.
Yep, I totally get it. We have SO much less money after paying for the adoption. On top of the normal parenting stress of losing one income, we also have a huge bill to pay (and let's not even start on the money we paid in the past for infertility treatments). I imagine the same is true for IVFers.
But, you are right, it IS worth it. I can't wait to see the post where you have a big smile on your face and say "It was all worth it!" Hang in there!
This made me angrier that anything else at times, because I had to pay our life-savings to get our baby while others could have all the kids they'd ever want for free. It's very much not fair!!!
I know the feeling, although mine is a completely different situation.
I'm always thinking of you hun!! I can't wait for you to have a baby. Love ya!
I get it too... I understand where you're coming from. I just had a day quite like that this week too, only mine was WHY do I have to go to ANOTHER baby shower for someone else? Why am I always the attendee and never the one it's for?
You have the right attitude that it will be worth every dime at the end. Hang in there... You will be flying through this before you know it :) I think it's perfectly acceptable for those who have struggled with infertility to be jealous and angry at times because of our situation vs. someone else's 'easier' situation. I have to look at it like this... God said this life won't be easy, you will fall, you will have temptations, it'll be hard BUT He is here with us through the pain and hurt and tears.
Have a great weekend!
Post a Comment