Reflections

Beckham
I miss you kicking my bladder
I miss hearing your heartbeat on the doppler
I miss your hands raised in the air like you have a question
I miss your first little smiles
I miss your preemie diapers
I miss your preemie outfits
I miss the way your little body fit perfectly on my chest
I miss you all wrapped up in your swaddle
I miss the way you always had to be touching your brother
I will miss your precious baby giggle
I will miss the way you say "da" in your whisper voice
I will miss the way you bounce in your crib
I will miss the way you crack up laughing because you think your brother is chasing you
I will miss the way your roll them up
I will miss the way you instantly fall asleep when you are in my arms
I will miss seeing your mouth constantly suck when you are sleeping
I will miss feeling you stroke my hair when you are sleeping next to me
I will miss those tiny hands and tiny feet

Brody
I miss you getting hiccups in my belly
I miss you beating up your brother in my belly
I miss hearing your heartbeat on the doppler
I miss your grunts when you were a baby
I miss your smiles when you slept as a baby
I miss your big kissable lips
I miss seeing you wrapped up in your swaddle as your head made its way to your brother
I miss your preemie diapers
I miss your preemie outfits
I miss they way your fit perfectly on my chest
I will miss the way you close your eyes and let out a loud scream
I will miss your open mouth kisses
I will miss those big blue eyes staring at me when I am holding you at night
I will miss you cuddling next to me at 4am
I will miss seeing you kiss your brother
I will miss seeing you shake your head no
I will miss seeing you play patty cake
I will miss those tiny hands and tiny feet

I think I get now why people are usually on to their second kid at this age.  The babies are starting to turn in to little boys (toddlers).  They are becoming more and more independent.  I truly miss them as babies.  I hope I am taking in as much as a I can every day. Time flies too fast now and I sometimes feel like I don't have time to stop and just be.  Anytime their little hands grab on to mine I take a minute, close my eyes and try to remember that I will miss this. I want to remember what they felt like, the way they smelled, the way they looked at me. EVERYTHING! As much as I hate that they are growing up I know that these days are getting better and better. They learn so much right now and they can call me mom. They interact now. They kiss me now. They are so much fun and the older they get the more I miss them during the day. Not that I didn't miss them before, but you know what I mean. It's everything I've ever wanted in life. I just hope it slows down a little because this happened way too fast!

PS.  Does anyone know why my pics upload sideways?