Reflections

Beckham
I miss you kicking my bladder
I miss hearing your heartbeat on the doppler
I miss your hands raised in the air like you have a question
I miss your first little smiles
I miss your preemie diapers
I miss your preemie outfits
I miss the way your little body fit perfectly on my chest
I miss you all wrapped up in your swaddle
I miss the way you always had to be touching your brother
I will miss your precious baby giggle
I will miss the way you say "da" in your whisper voice
I will miss the way you bounce in your crib
I will miss the way you crack up laughing because you think your brother is chasing you
I will miss the way your roll them up
I will miss the way you instantly fall asleep when you are in my arms
I will miss seeing your mouth constantly suck when you are sleeping
I will miss feeling you stroke my hair when you are sleeping next to me
I will miss those tiny hands and tiny feet

Brody
I miss you getting hiccups in my belly
I miss you beating up your brother in my belly
I miss hearing your heartbeat on the doppler
I miss your grunts when you were a baby
I miss your smiles when you slept as a baby
I miss your big kissable lips
I miss seeing you wrapped up in your swaddle as your head made its way to your brother
I miss your preemie diapers
I miss your preemie outfits
I miss they way your fit perfectly on my chest
I will miss the way you close your eyes and let out a loud scream
I will miss your open mouth kisses
I will miss those big blue eyes staring at me when I am holding you at night
I will miss you cuddling next to me at 4am
I will miss seeing you kiss your brother
I will miss seeing you shake your head no
I will miss seeing you play patty cake
I will miss those tiny hands and tiny feet

I think I get now why people are usually on to their second kid at this age.  The babies are starting to turn in to little boys (toddlers).  They are becoming more and more independent.  I truly miss them as babies.  I hope I am taking in as much as a I can every day. Time flies too fast now and I sometimes feel like I don't have time to stop and just be.  Anytime their little hands grab on to mine I take a minute, close my eyes and try to remember that I will miss this. I want to remember what they felt like, the way they smelled, the way they looked at me. EVERYTHING! As much as I hate that they are growing up I know that these days are getting better and better. They learn so much right now and they can call me mom. They interact now. They kiss me now. They are so much fun and the older they get the more I miss them during the day. Not that I didn't miss them before, but you know what I mean. It's everything I've ever wanted in life. I just hope it slows down a little because this happened way too fast!

PS.  Does anyone know why my pics upload sideways? 

Blog Barf

I’m calling this a blog barf because I have a lot of updating to do. So instead of several different blogs I’m just going to do it in one. Hope you have grabbed some coffee.

Easter

The boys woke up to their cute little Easter baskets. Brody had a great time taking everything out and putting it in his mouth. Beckham just got one thing out and chewed on it. They got some great new toys. I really thought they would be more interested in their truck, but just not yet I guess. They loved the blocks and mommy and daddy loved the candy. We went out to my aunts that day for Easter dinner and egg hunt. Of course the boys didn’t really get to hunt, but they got a nice taste of a colored egg. I must say they looked very handsome.

First Hospital Overnight Stay

We have had our first official BIG scare as parents. Last Wed night about midnight Robert woke me up to tell me he was worried about Brody. I asked what he meant and he said he was breathing really heavy. I rush in there and he was taking very short heavy breaths. I immediately picked him up and notice something wasn’t right. We gave him a breathing treatment and then laid him in bed with us. He woke up again about 3:00 still breathing very deep and extremely cranky like he couldn’t get comfortable. I took his temperature and it was 101.3. We immediately decided we needed to take him in to the hospital to get checked out. We got checked in to the ER and his oxygen level was at 91, dropping to 89 at times. He was retracting while breathing which is apparently not good. They proceeded to give him 3 breathing treatments which were each double the dose of what we give at home and a steroid pill. Even after those 3 his oxygen was still at 91. They called our pediatrician to decide what he wanted to do. In the meantime they ran an iv of fluids and did a urine and blood test. They discovered he was dehydrated and he had a high amount of sugar in his blood. It was over 220. A normal fasting blood sugar level is between 80-120. Our Dr called backed and said he wanted to admit him. He was going to come by to check on him as soon as we got in our room. Of course the minute he was up there his oxygen level had gone up to 100%. Right before we went up the Dr in the ER had finally given him oxygen through a mask, so apparently that helped. He said we were just going to monitor him for the day and watch his sugar levels and we should be able to go home that night. Well the 100% didn’t last long and his temperature kept spiking and when they retested his blood sugar it was still 170. So he told us we were staying overnight for further observation. We did breathing treatments every four hours along with this awesome powered nose sucker. I was really worried about how difficult it would be to tame a 10 month old who can’t move because he was hooked up to monitors, but he was especially sweet and cuddling and pretty much just laid with us the whole time. The night was pretty miserable because they come in every hour to do something, so needless to say none of us got sleep for a good 48 hours. His oxygen stayed steady through Friday morning and no more temperature spikes. They rechecked his blood sugar and it was back down to 80 something. So we got to go home Friday morning. He went back in this week for a check up and they said he sounded and looked great. It was a severe bronchiolitis and he thinks his lungs were still weak from having RSV a few weeks prior. Come to find out they also had put some sugar something or another in his iv fluids which made his levels spike. OH lovely ER people. They treated us great though so I will not complain. I’m just happy my baby is ok. We are continuing breathing treatments right now and just keeping a close eye on him and Beckham just in case.

Weight Loss

I would just like to take a moment to brag on myself. I am currently 10 lbs lighter from when I got pregnant with the boys. I attribute this to not having a million hormones pumped in to my body anymore and the lack of stress from trying to conceive. I feel great and hoping for another 10 lbs to come off soon.

House

We are currently in the process of trying to sell our house. We built this house when Robert and I were getting married and it was perfect for just us. Now that we have added two little busy guys to our family we have just ran out of space. There is no backyard for these boys to play in. We got our first offer yesterday. While this is exciting, it is also kind of sad. I am the sentimental type so there are so many things connected to this house. This was the boys first home. We set up their first room there and brought them home for the first time to this house. So many memories we will be leaving behind, but so many to look forward to in whichever home we chose. We want to give these boys so much and a new place with lots of room for them to play is just the start of that. There are so many decisions to be made. Like the right school district, the right neighborhood. I hope they love where they grow up. It’s amazing the way things change when you have children.

Back to the Dr.

If there are any guys that read my blog, you may want to skip this section. Just saying!  So today I am headed back to my OB/GYN.  It's weird to think I haven't been to the Dr in a long time considering about a year ago and for the previous 3 years, my drs were very familiar and well acquainted with my lady parts.  Ever since I got my periods back post partum they have been horrible!  A lot of people have told me that theirs were bad too after their babies, but let me tell you mine are not normal.  AT ALL!  Very heavy and very long.  Pretty much through to ovulation.  Yes I can still tell when I'm ovulating.  I was well trained for over 3 years :)  So today I will go in to figure out what is going on and what to do.  My fear is that she will tell me I need to be back on birth control.  Something I have said I refuse to do after trying for a baby for 3.2 years. A few good friends of mine reminded me though that my life now is about the two babies I have and my health for them.  Birth control is not always bad.  I have a huge fear that I will not be able to have any more children (we just want one more), but that should not even be in my thoughts now.  I need to take care of me so I can take care of them.  If for some reason this does turn in to something that does not allow that for us, then I will be very thankful still that God did bless us with these two amazing full of life boys. I have to remind myself sometimes to count my blessings for today and not for the what ifs of the future.

Pics

Now how about just some cute pics of my awesome little guys.  I want to cry at how big they are getting.  Yesterday at daycare I was telling them bye and with his big boy open shut wave, Beckham waved bye.  I literally cried.  What happened to my babies?