Wednesday, June 30, 2010


I know I have been missing lately, but I have a good reason for it. Our house got struck by lightning and it blew out all of our electronics. So needless to say I have been without a computer for a month while we have been trying to deal with the insurance company. I am up and running now though. I feel like there is so much I need to catch up on. Where to start. Ok we decided to pull the for sale sign out of our front yard. Money just seems to be getting tighter and tighter and we want to be able to still enjoy things in life. There was no necessary reason for us moving, so we will be staying a little longer. And maybe in a couple years a certain you know who will not be running our country and we will actually get the money we work hard for.

We also made a huge decision today. We have decided to do IVF. I don't want to get in to too many details of why we decided this because for now I feel like that's between me and my husband, but let's just say the heartache of hearing all the "oops" has finally taken its toll on both of us. We will be doing two more IUI's first, but if those don't work then we will be starting the IVF process in September. I'm extremely scared to think about us doing this. I don't know if my biggest fear is the $15,000 it will cost, the daily self injections, or the heartache of the possiblity of someone telling me it didn't work. We only have one try at this. Our insurance will only cover one. I never thought I would see the end of the "treatment" road. What happens after this? Do we just keep trying for 5 more years? The emotional roller coaster I have been on for 3 years now has been bad, but I can't even begin to fathom all the emotions that I will feel with this.

I wanted to explain the process a little just in case there are those who read my blog that don't know. I will talk to my Dr more about everything on Friday, but this is what I understand so far.

I will take birth control pills for three weeks. Then for the next two weeks I will give myself a daily injection of lupron. I then go in for an ultrasound to make sure my eggs are ready for fertility injections . Then in the 6th week I will take several injections per day to stimulate my eggs. During that 6th week I go to the dr several times for ultrasounds and blood work. During the 7th week I will go in to have the egg retrieval. I have to be sedated for this. I will then wait 3-5 days until my eggs are ready and they will be inserted back in me. I then I have to basically be on bed rest for 2 days. Now if this doesn't sound like a romantic way to conceive a child......

I'm literally in tears thinking that this is how we have to have a child. I have asked God why so many times. I am praying so hard that it happens before this. But if it doesn't and we have to do this at least I know without a doubt that no one can question on us on how bad we want a child.


Faith said...

Wow, struck by lightning! Not many people could say that:)!

I know deciding on IVF is a big step. It was the same for us as we moved on to adoption. You have to know you are at the end of the road, and let go of your dream of conceiving the "easy" way. So, it is bittersweet for sure. I will be thinking of you through all of this. It's cool your insurance covers one cycle...mine covers NOTHING. So, use it if you got it! I really hope it happens before then for you, but if it doesn't, try to enjoy the IVF journey. I know SO many IVF babies, and their stories are amazing:). Good luck and welcome back to bloggy world!

Amber said...

I am feeling so happy and yet so sad at the same time reading this. I'm sorry you have to go down this path, but I'm hopeful that this will get you that baby we've all prayed for.

It's a brave next step and I would do the same thing if I were in your shoes. You have to know that you have tried absolutely everything, and there's a great chance that this will work!

From my pregnant point-of-view, I am so thankful for every single penny we spent, all the tears we poured into this, and every procedure we endured (no matter how painful). If you need anything, let me know.

郁雨郁雨 said...

Poverty tries friends.....................................................................

Amber D'Amico said...

I'm excited for your "new journey" you've decided upon. I am THRILLED to hear an insurance covers one cycle -- that's unheard of these days! (By the way, what insurance company is that :))I think your making the best choice possible, you said it best, you have to know you've tried and exhausted everything before going on. From experience, it sounds like a long process, but it will fly by! One day I was taking the birth control pills and the next I was being wheeled out after retrieval being told I had 19 healthy eggs removed! I was terrified of the needles (which sounds funny coming from a nurse). They weren't bad at all; looking back I could've done it for several more weeks and not even noticed the needle sticks. Your fears will be overcome once you realize you've already finished the hard stuff :) I wish you the best of luck and feel free to ask me any questions you have along the way.
I will join you in praying it happens before IVF.

Marie said...

Kandice, I know this is not going to be an easy road, but I'm glad you are going down it. The money you spend isn't going to matter one bit once you are holding that baby in your arms. :) I'm glad that your insurance is covering at least one, I'm hoping that is all you will need!!
I'm nervous and excited, but mostly hopeful for you. Keep us posted on how you are feeling and what is going on through this process. I know people who have had success with this, so I'm sure you'll be a success story too!
Good luck to you and sorry to hear about your house being struck by lightning! You have had quite the year, little lady!
You're a strong person and you can make it through anything, just keep your head up! :)

Jillian said...

Love ya girl!

"Neither this man nor his parents sinned," said Jesus, "but this happened so that the work of God might be displayed in his life. John 9:3