Guess What

I get to turn my calendar to October tomorrow. (Picture me jumping up and down here). I have been waiting for this month to come. I can't believe it's time to get down to business and do this IVF.

Lord please watch over us these next fews weeks and guard our hearts. Amen!

Supression Check

Well my body decided to behave and we have achieved supression. The appointment was rather simple today until they started telling us how to use the next round of shots. Robert made the comment "I hope you're paying attention because I got lost a long time ago". Great lol. One of them is easy, the other, however, has a lot of put this on, twist this, mix this, do that. Whew I'm glad I'm not a nurse for a living. It takes talent. Although, I feel I should be certified to give shots after this.

We had to sign our forms on what to do with the embryos if we divorce. That is akward. And we chose to freeze our little babies. I found out today that this part is not covered by insurance and will cost us around $1000. Suprisingly this amount seems small. (Although of course I'd much rather have my babies for free) I start my stims on Saturday as long as the blood work comes back ok too, which according to my Dr it will. I was told the Repronex has been known to sting. I'm a little scared but I think it will be ok. I don't think I will really be freaked out until the 2 in long Progesterone needle has to hit my butt. I will update on Saturday how the 3 shots a day go.

One last thing BOOMER SOONER!!!!!!!!!!!

For the Record

We have made the decision that we are not going to tell anyone the results of this IVF. I know this is going to be really hard considering a lot of people know that we are doing it. For the blogging world I will just not be posting for 2 months, positive or negative. Now, for our "real" world I would like to just ask that everyone respect the fact that we don't want to tell anyone and just don't ask. We will tell you when we are ready. If I am pregant I will be ready to tell the world around Christmas. So if you do not hear anything from me by then just assume I am too devastated to talk about it. I have positive thoughts though that I will be sharing some very exciting news and I can't wait to tell the world!

Financial Stress

I had a moment today where I let jealousy and depression show it's horrid face. We have always been financially stable with extra money to do as we please. We make good financial decisions for our future and worked hard to have this luxury. Somewhere in the last few months this has been stripped from us and we now find ourselves wondering where gas money is going to come from and cancelling plans because we can't afford to go out. You can say that the financial strain from Infertility has finally set in. I know jealousy is a bad thing and God tells us not to be, but I have to admit that it is hard when i see so many others who don't have to spend thousands of dollars just to get pregnant. Or those who don't have to work for anything. Life seems like it comes so much easier to some. How is it fair that we can't even go have a date night because we are so broke from buying meds to "MAYBE" get pregnant. And don't get me wrong this is worth every dime to us because it is what we want and what we chose, but I wish we didn't have to put everything else on hold because of it. I just want a break from things. I want that reward. I'm ready for the reward.

Shots have been going good. My belly looks like a mini war zone, but that's ok. I have been giving them to myself and I'll let Robert do them every once and a while. He informed me last night that I better let him practice before the progesterone shots. The man has a point. One week from today is my first appointment. I can't wait!

Mexico Vacation

A couple of weeks ago we went on a family vacation to Mexico. It was much needed for the both of us to forget about our Infertility and money woes, and it couldn't have been better timing because I started the Lupron injections the Tuesday after we got back. We go to Mexico every summer. It is one of our most favorite things to do. There are absolutely no worries there!!! I don't really have much to say just wanted to share some pictures. I will be updated about IVF tonight. Enjoy

First Shot Down

So tonight was the night I took my first Lupron injection. I have been so nervous for weeks knowing this was coming. Pretty sure my palms were even getting sweaty just now as I was waiting on Robert to get home from the gym. I will have to say that it turned in to quite a funny experience. I've been asking Robert all week if he was nervous and he kept telling me no. Well ha....that was a big lie. So 8:00pm hits and it was time. I asked him if he was ready and he said yes. I go grab the medicine out of the fridge and get my syringe and alcohol swab ready. We fill it up (we think we did anyway) and swab the injection site. Robert is about to come at my stomach at a straight up and down angle, so I inform him he might want to go in straight. So he gets on his knees and says, ok are you ready? One, two, three........and nothing. Ok lets try this again one, two, three....and nothing. We both start laughing and he says I don't even like needles myself. I asked if he wanted me to just do it and he said no I'll do it. We take a deep breathe, one, two, three and in it goes. It was over in two seconds. Of course I felt it, but it really wasn't painful. Whew I am so relieved to have that first one over with. It will be a piece of cake for the next two weeks of these shots. I took a picture of my counter. Pretty sure it looks like I'm running a drug ring. This is just the syringes and needles. I have the meds out in the extra fridge. On a side note, OU football finally started so I thought I would throw in a pic of us from the game. BOOMER SOONER!!!

Meds Check

I finally got all my meds ordered and most are on their way. It wasn't of course without some freak out moments and high stress. The first mail order pharmacy they called my prescriptions in to said my insurance wasn't covering them and she proceeded to tell me that one of them....are you ready......was $2200. I about fell over. Actually more like almost started bawling. I was thinking how could they not cover and oh no I'm going to have to cancel my IVF cycle. Come to find out my insurance makes you go through their mail order company for specialty drugs. Whew. So I have 4 meds on the way for a total of $286. I also got my progesterone ordered which they said would cost me no more than $90. So to keep track we are now at a total of $554. I still have (i think) about 4 more coming. Big sigh!! It's going to be worth it, it's going to be worth it, it's going to be worth it.