Sunday, July 10, 2011

Breastfeeding...Well Sorta

Breastfeeding is something I have known I wanted to do since I thought about having children. It's important to me. When I found out I was having twins I had to face the reality that it may not be a possibility. I've tried to prepare myself over the last nine months to not lose it if I could't. (Yeah right)

So here is how it has gone. I told all my family and friends that right after the boys birth I wanted it to be me and Robert in the room for about the first hour so we could bond and so that I could try to breastfeed. Brody came out ready to eat. Literally! He was already looking for the boob. Beckham not so much. Much to my surprise Brody latched on right away. YAY. Beckham eventually did witht he help of the nurse. Here I was 30 min after bringing them in to this world providing them with what they need to survive. Something only I can give them. It was the most amazing rewarding experience. (I'm sure the drugs helped too ;) I continued to feed them while we were in the hospital. Brody would always latch on right away, but we had to trick Beckham with some formula from a syringe to get him to latch on. Feeding at home continured to go good. We had to bring them back in for weight checks 2 days after we left. The boys were both still losing weight and with them being so small in the first place the nurses were worried. I told them about the struggle with Beckham and that's when we were told to try pumping from the side that Brody was not on and bottle feeding Beckham. I was ok with this because I at least had one baby that still latched on. We were told to come back the next day for another weight check after changing things up. They finally had gained weigth. This made me one proud momma. A couple of days had gone by and I started to notice Brody was getting hungry about 15 min after he ate. It never occured to me until that moment that he wasn't getting enough milk from me. I was only pumping 1 oz from the breast that Beckham was getting and we were supplementing him to have 2 oz. I was starving my poor baby. Robert suggested that we do the same with Brody as we were doing with Beckham. I lost it! I knew it was the right thing to do so he would not starve, but it hurt. This is something I have longed to be able to do with my babies for so long and it turns out I can't. I had my little cry and soon got over it. I know pump for both boys and am getting about 2 oz from each side. Beckham is eating 3 oz and Brody is eating 3 1/2 oz. Which means I'm still having to supplement. I have to remember that if I only had one child I would have plenty. I have two, but that doesn't make this any easier.

p.s when Brody gets hungry in between meals I let him have the boob ;) it comforts him and momma!

Breastfeeding takes a lot of commitment. Our schedule revolves around their feeding times, so we really don't get out much. I've thought about switching to straight formula already because I often wonder if giving them just 2 oz of my milk is really worth it? The middle of the night is the hardest part when I wake up to pump and everyone else is sound asleep. BUT, there is just something so special and rewarding knowing that you are giving them something NO ONE else can! I LOVE BEING A MOMMY


Faith said...

I don't know if you were reading when Addison was born in February, but I had MANY issues with breastfeeding. And, like you, I had ALWAYS wanted to do it, it was really important to me. We were supplementing for Addison, too - and it was SO much work pumping, breastfeeding AND supplementing, as I am sure you are finding out! I finally consulted with a lactation consultant and she determined I was not making enough milk (which I knew) - and suggested I ask my OB for Domperidone. It is a medication for reflux, but a side effect is increased milk supply. I have been on it since Addy was about a month old - and have not had to supplement since! It is not FDA approved, but the reason it was pulled was because of a really out of this world case in which a mom was taking it through the IV and baby got WAY too much. There are no risks to taking it the way I do, in pill form. Anyway, it made all the difference. Addy is a full, happy, breastfed baby and I am a happy and proud momma! I can't imagine trying to make enough for twins, but I can tell you I make more than she can eat for sure - so I may have enough for twins right now! When I pump at work, I get up to 7 oz at a time. And the baby gets out more than the pump does, just so you know - so you can't judge exactly how much your baby is getting by how much you pump. Every lactation consultant I talked to told me that, just FYI. Good luck, hun! It gets MUCH easier by the time they are about 2 months old. Let me know if I can be helpful or if you want more information on the med I am on! Take care and welcome to mommy-hood - nothing is easy, lol!

Jhett Boyer said...

You are doing amazing!!! Keep up the hard work. I definitely think the 2oz of breastmilk you are able to give them is totally worth it!! Oh and the little snack sessions one of the boys is getting is only going to help your supply ;) You are an awesome mommy :)

Amy said...

Aww, Kandice, I feel your pain. Breastfeeding is so incredibly hard! And it seems like the first few months I had my girls all they did was eat!

What all have you tried to increase your supply? Eating oatmeal and taking Fenugreek are a few that I was told to try. My mother-in-law is a lactation consultant and she gave me a lot of good advice if you want me to pass it on to you!

Amber said...

Breastfeeding is super tough work and no one can really prepare you for it. Even if you could only give them 1/2 an ounce of mommy's milk a day, it would still be worth it! And you're doing great.

But if you decide that it would work better for your family to go to only formula, do it. You have to make those decisions. And in the end, we all turn out the same no matter what we're fed as infants!

Jayson and Breanne said...

I had the same type of issues with Lana. She was still losing weight at 2 weeks. I remember sitting in the doctors office crying because I felt like I was starving her too. It was seriously one of my lowest, feel horrible about myself moments. He had me pumping to see how much I was making and i was not making enough. I took Fenugreek to help with the supply and she started gaining weight soon after. Breastfeeding her was probably one of the hardest things I have ever done those first 6 weeks or so. It was so hard and I wanted to give up so bad. I promise it does get easier. Either way, know whatever decision you make it is best for you and your family and dont let yourself or anyone else make you feel bad for whatever you decide! Feel free to call or ask any questions and know you have a great support system.

"Neither this man nor his parents sinned," said Jesus, "but this happened so that the work of God might be displayed in his life. John 9:3