Thursday, March 29, 2012


I don't get overwhelmed much as a mom, especially as a mom to twins, but here lately I am. And not for the reasons one might think. Yes, I cannot take my eyes off them for two seconds or they will be in the dog bowl and yes, it's an extra 30 minutes added on to our morning getting two boys ready and yes, they cry at the same time. But those things are easy. Those things make our life fun and unpredictable. What I am overwhelmed with is this constant sickness. Over the past few months both kids have been constantly sick. I'm talking MAYBE one week out of the month do they feel good. We have constant ear infections, constant runny noses, constant coughs, which means constant throwing up. It's one of those times as a mom you are completely helpless. You can't do anything to make your babies feel better or make it go away. I lay in my bed at night with tears streaming down my face because all I can hear is my poor babies coughing their heads off and trying to breathe through all the snot. I have been feeling this extreme guilt for working lately. Sending them to daycare is what is getting them sick. I just want to be able to take off one month so they can stay home and get healthy. We don't get to enjoy them and they don't get to enjoy life. I know that sounds dramatic, but that's how I feel. I feel like I'm missing out on our babies growing up because all they want to do is lay around or sleep. They are always fussy because they don't get any sleep at night. And just when we feel like we have them sleep trained AGAIN, bam another sickness hits. This also means we don't get any sleep. Which is fine. I'd rather cuddle my little boys anyday when they are sick, but at some point we need that sleep to function. It's gets exhausting. Not to mention I am now taking leave without pay. And that is still with our family members helping out as much as they can. This is another guilt. I am their mother and I can't even take off as much as I'd like to care for them. We are also paying a large amount of money for a daycare they can't even attend more than 2 days a week. I hate these feelings that I am having. I guess I'll just keep holding out for that 1st birthday. That's when every tells me it gets better. Until then pray for this momma, because I'm overwhelmed!

Well I was going to upload some pics, but apparently I have become computer illiterate. They are all sideways now and wont turn. I'll figure it out soon :)


Becca said...

(this is Courtney by the way... My old alias name was becca and I can't figure out how to comment with my new blog address :)

Anyway... I will be praying for you. My husbands cousin has a little girl who is always sick and she told me at Christmas that it is because she is in daycare. So you aren't the only momma going through this tough time :( i don't really know what to say except that I will pray for you all. I know what it is like to be sleep deprived... It ain't fun!!

Hang in there sweet girl. Hopefully here in a couple of months they will be able to feel/function better!


We have a board that you should come join where us mommas come together and talk. Many of the ladies have kids in daycare that you could maybe get advice from. If you want the link just email me!!!

Amber said...

Oh Kandice, that is so frustrating! I know there isn't a great answer to this problem, but I wish I could fix it. You have to put them in daycare which makes them sick which makes you stay home and miss work. Not a great cycle. I'm just 5 minutes away anytime you need me. I know sleep deprivation on a personal basis, so please call if you need anything!

Faith said...

Oh wow, hun. I wish I had some advice because this sounds miserable! This DOES get better. And I promise, it is worse for you than it is for them. I'm curious if you have considered a nanny? I have NO idea the cost differences, just wondering if it is a possibility for you? Anyway, I am thinking about you! And I second Courtney's idea - I am on that board as well and it is an awesome place. I have been there since I started on Clomid 3 or 4 years ago! Hang in there, momma. This too shall pass....and your boys know you love them more than life itself, there is no doubt about that!

Mrs. D'Amico said...

I'm sorry your babies are sick and your overwhelmed. If it makes you feel any better, Roman was sick for an entire month... He got RSV then pneumonia. It wasn't fun. He isn't in daycare, guess he got it from walmart or wherever. I'm praying for your babies to get well and feel good and for you as a momma. hang in there.

"Neither this man nor his parents sinned," said Jesus, "but this happened so that the work of God might be displayed in his life. John 9:3