Friday, May 9, 2014
A Letter to My Boys
Today is the day that your father and I will dedicate the three of you boys to the church. We are not only dedicating you to Life church, but we are dedicating you to God. We are making our promise to raise you in a Christ-Centered home. There is something equally special about this day. It is also Mother’s Day weekend. The three years leading up to when we found out we were going to be parents were heart wrenching. I honestly didn’t know if I would ever become a Mom. It made this weekend so incredibly painful. I spent a lot of time with God in those years. I want you all to know that I prayed for you and God answered our prayers in His timing. He knew exactly what he was doing. We have three of the most perfect miracles that I could ever ask for. Miracles is what you all are and God is the reason you are here.
There are a few things that I want you to remember while you go through life:
1.) God should always be first. I believe with all my heart that if you put Him first then the rest of your life falls into place. This is sometimes hard for your mommy to accept because I selfishly think I should come first after carrying you around for nine months. I guess God wins though.
2.) The world is cruel, don’t give in to the pressure. The media and everyone else will try to make you think you need material things. Material things equal debt. Debt equals chains. God is the only one who can provide happiness sons. BE WHO YOU ARE, NOT WHO THE WORLD SAYS YOU SHOULD BE!
3.) You are wanted. If for any reason your father or I should do something to make you feel unloved remember this. We spent 3.2 years trying and longing for you. It took numerous doctor appointments, money, time, surgeries, shots and tears to conceive you. Bray you are no exception. Just because you made your determinedness known doesn’t mean that we didn’t long for you too. A little secret. Mommy longed to feel a singleton pregnancy and all the things that were different than a twin pregnancy. So my little cuddle bug, you were wanted too! Not to mention that God placed you in our life at just the perfect time. One day we will share that story with you.
4.) You will get your heart broken. I’m crying now at the thought of this. You are only 1 & almost 3, but the thought that someone will hurt you, hurts me. There are going to be a number of people throughout your life that will let you down. This is not limited to a girlfriend. You will have people who you never expected like friends and family. It is part of the world we live in. God tells us to forgive. So boys, you should forgive and pray for those who have hurt you. Just remember that we cannot control what others say or do but we can control who we let stay in our lives.
5.) Be kind to everyone. God said no man’s sins are greater than the next. There are people all over the world that are hurting. Don’t be the one to make them hurt more.
6.) Life goes on. You are going to encounter hardships along the way. Don’t let them take you out. Always be an optimist and remember #1.
7.) We are always here for you. Your Mom and Dad will always be your #1 fans in life. We are pulling for each one of you. We want to see you succeed in life and with your walk with Christ. We will never turn our backs on you. Anything you need we are here. Even if you want to come live with us again when you’re 30.
8.) We will give you tough love. We are not always going to hand things to you because you want them. There are going to be some instances in life where we may have to implement “tough love”. This will be harder on us than it is on you. I hope you can one day understand what this is about and not be angry with us.
9.) It’s ok to cry. Society tells you that boys shouldn’t cry. I think society is wrong. It is ok to feel pain and deal with it. It is ok to be sad. I think it makes you a much better man. It makes you human. It will make you very attractive to a woman as well. Let’s not explore this until you are at least 25 though.
10.) You are enough! Remember when the world around you tells you that you aren't good enough, that you are always good enough in God’s eyes. You are also always good enough in our eyes. Don’t let what anyone thinks about you define you. Let you define you. Let your relationship with God define you.
11.) Go to college. Just do it!
12.) Divorce is not an option. You are too young now for me to even fathom you boys getting married. When you do, remember that marriage is a commitment before God. Don’t get married unless you are ready to fully commit to another person. This will mean putting yourself aside to make someone else happy. Marriage is work and sometimes it is painfully hard, but don’t ever put “divorce” in your vocabulary. Seek God not society.
13.) Don’t forget about us. It’s hard to imagine at the age you are now that someday, if we do our job right, you are going to leave home. You will become men of your own household. It’s just so hard to imagine that for the next 15-17 years we will have you in our home every day. Our lives revolve around you boys right now. There is going to come a day when you are gone. I don’t want that day to come. I wish I could freeze time right now. Where you, Bray, are crying to come lay in bed with me and I pick you up and you wrap your sweet little arms around my neck and won’t let go for the rest of the night. Or you, Beckham, with your sweet little voice saying, “Mommy, please help me” or embarrassingly enough for you when we have our cute little talks while you are trying to use the restroom. And you, Brody, laughing deviously and always saying after you get your hair done, “Mom, I’m not handsome, I’m Brody Superhero”. Gosh, I’m going to miss you boys. I’m going to miss these days. Don’t worry, I’ll try to keep my cool and not follow you to college. I am however not promising to not cry every year you get older for I know that means my days are numbered before you leave the nest. Just remember to call us just to say hi and I love you. That will mean the world to us.
Proverbs 22:6 Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.
This is the verse that I live by with you three boys. My hope is that your father and I can give you a strong faith based foundation. You boys have changed my life for the better. I never knew how much love my body was capable of feeling until I saw each of you for the first time. Those images are ingrained in my mind. I will admit that there are several days that I get caught up in life and I forget to pray. I can promise you that there aren’t many days that go by though that I don’t forget to thank God for each of you when I’m tucking you in bed at night. I love you my three little momma’s boys. More than you will ever know!
We love you,
Mommy and Daddy