First Shot Down

So tonight was the night I took my first Lupron injection. I have been so nervous for weeks knowing this was coming. Pretty sure my palms were even getting sweaty just now as I was waiting on Robert to get home from the gym. I will have to say that it turned in to quite a funny experience. I've been asking Robert all week if he was nervous and he kept telling me no. Well ha....that was a big lie. So 8:00pm hits and it was time. I asked him if he was ready and he said yes. I go grab the medicine out of the fridge and get my syringe and alcohol swab ready. We fill it up (we think we did anyway) and swab the injection site. Robert is about to come at my stomach at a straight up and down angle, so I inform him he might want to go in straight. So he gets on his knees and says, ok are you ready? One, two, three........and nothing. Ok lets try this again one, two, three....and nothing. We both start laughing and he says I don't even like needles myself. I asked if he wanted me to just do it and he said no I'll do it. We take a deep breathe, one, two, three and in it goes. It was over in two seconds. Of course I felt it, but it really wasn't painful. Whew I am so relieved to have that first one over with. It will be a piece of cake for the next two weeks of these shots. I took a picture of my counter. Pretty sure it looks like I'm running a drug ring. This is just the syringes and needles. I have the meds out in the extra fridge. On a side note, OU football finally started so I thought I would throw in a pic of us from the game. BOOMER SOONER!!!

Meds Check

I finally got all my meds ordered and most are on their way. It wasn't of course without some freak out moments and high stress. The first mail order pharmacy they called my prescriptions in to said my insurance wasn't covering them and she proceeded to tell me that one of them....are you ready......was $2200. I about fell over. Actually more like almost started bawling. I was thinking how could they not cover and oh no I'm going to have to cancel my IVF cycle. Come to find out my insurance makes you go through their mail order company for specialty drugs. Whew. So I have 4 meds on the way for a total of $286. I also got my progesterone ordered which they said would cost me no more than $90. So to keep track we are now at a total of $554. I still have (i think) about 4 more coming. Big sigh!! It's going to be worth it, it's going to be worth it, it's going to be worth it.

Mock Transfer Equals OUCH

I have my appointment yesterday for my mock transfer and bloodwork. They do an ultrasound to measure things and then they do a mock transfer which is just as it sounds. They get the measurement for how far the little catheter type thing will be going in. The Dr started off by saying how it wont feel much different from my inseminations. Um that was a lie. It took my breath away twice and I'm pretty sure I squealed. You know I would rather not know what it is going to feel like prior. Now I have to go in to the real transfer knowing. Although he assured me again that the real one wont hurt as bad because I wont be on my period and they will have me take two advil before I come in. Not sure if I want to believe him this time. lol. They also had a chance to look at my ovaries and take a guess of how many eggs they should be able to retrieve. He counted 7 on the right and 9 on the left. That's a pretty good number if you ask me. I just got done taking my first birth control pill and my anitbiotic. I can say for the first time in 36 months that I know for a fact that I will not be pregnant this month. The birth control thing still weirds me out. It's so random that to get pregnant they want me to take birth control that prevents pregnancy. Crazy concept. Robert started his antibiotics today too. They were nice enough to give us a substitute of the ZPack because the other meds make you sensitve to sun and we will heading to Mexico in a week!!! Our pocket book took a big hit yesterday. Here is what we have spent so far and it is only day 3:

Dr Visit for Mock Transfer - $20.00
Blood work for me and Robert- $88.00
Birth Control Pills- $50.00
Antibiotics for me and Robert-$20.00

That's a grand total of $178.00. Ouch. I know we are fortunate enough to have insurance covering most of this, but man this is a lot of money to us and It's just begun. Bring it on though! We are both so ready for our miracle. We look at babies and can't help but have this huge smile knowing that COULD be us very soon. If this works my dute date would be sometime in June 2011. I've always wanted a summer baby!

IVF...Here We Come

As you can probably tell by the title of my post, I got a visit today from a very unwelcomed guest. My cousin called to check up on me and asked how I felt about it. Was it easier this month than last knowing that I'm moving on to bigger and better? Honestly, I don't really know. While I was waiting to start the emotions were just so much different because the outcome this time was different. I wasn't just moving on to the next cycle, we were moving on to In Vitro. I'm excited and dissapointed at the same time. I told Robert on the way home today that I never thought it would come to this. He agreed. This is technically the end of Fertility treatments. There isn't anything else we can do help get pregnant after this. What if it doesn't work? I'm going to really try and keep a positive outlook. I'm thinking triplets :) So we will be taking applications for free live in nannys. I thought I would give ya'll an outline of when things will happen. I'm really hoping to document all of this through my blog. Oh and ps. Amber I hope you are ready for me to come over every night at 8pm so you can give me my shots. Not sure that I trust Robert yet lol. JK I know you have an amazingly beautiful daughter that you will be taking care of. Congrats again!!!!! Ok here is the rough timeline:

8/27/10 Begin birth control and antibiotics
9/14/10 Begin Lupron injections 8PM every night
9/27/10 Suppression Check
9/27/10 (week of) start FSH 8AM and HMG 8PM every day
10/4/10(approx week of) Every other day appointments to watch follicles
10/6/10 (approx) HCG trigger shot
10/8/10 (approx) Egg Retrieval and Fertilization Begin Progesterone shot daily
10/9/10 receive call to see how many eggs fertilized
10/11/10 Embryo Transfer (2 eggs)
10/11/10-10/13/10 Bedrest
10/16/10 Appt to check Progesterone level
10/22/10 Am I pregnant???? Blood test

October seems so far away, but I know it will fly by. I have decided that we will be freezing our eggs. I don't know if insurance will cover this so I might have a house to sell if anyone is looking. I could use a ton of prayers through all of this. Thanks in advance. You all have been an amazing support to me. I hope you know how much it is valued.

IVF Class

Well we had our official IVF class on Tuesday. We walked in not knowing what to expect and thinking it would probably be a little overwhelming. We were both surprised by the amount of people and the variation of ages. We had 10 couples and the ages ranged from probaby about 25-35. It wasn't at all as uncomfortable as I thought it would be. Actually it was quite amusing to be in a room with so many men and be openly talking about menstrual periods. Probably even more crazy that all these men knew about everything the nurse and embryologist were talking about and they were the ones with questions!!!! 3 years ago they probably didn't even know what ovulation was. We didn't learn much more in the class than we read in our packet. Seemed like they just talked about A LOT of shots. Or maybe that is all I could think of. The success rate right now for IVF is 68% with a 30% chance of twins and 3% chance of triplets. I'm actually ok with these statistics. If God wants me to have 3 little babies, so be it.

There is one big thing that I am struggling with big time. We have the choice to freeze our eggs for later use. Part of me does not think this is morally right. My struggle comes though with the fact that at the Bennett Fertility Clinic they are not allowed to dispose of eggs. So if I choose ahead of time not to freeze any than they are only allowed to fertilize the amount of eggs (give a few) I want put back in, and there is a chance that they would not delevop to transfer to me. If we do decided to freeze them it is roughly $3000 for the first year then about $47 a month after until you decide what to do with them. There are a couple of options if we did not use those eggs. We could donate them to research, donate them to another couple, or they would insert them back in to me at a time when I am not ovulation so they would basically be disposed of by me or something like that. I would of course chose the 3rd. Those are still our babies, embryos or not. The goal is to not have to go through IVF again. I have this huge amount of hope that this is a one time thing for us. After this we hope to be that couple that the infertiles hate because we just can't quit getting knocked up. ok so I'm kidding. Anyway, I'm having a really really hard time with this decision and I have to decide pretty soon.

A Lot to Catch up on

Wow where do I start. I'm getting really bad about posting here lately. I've been doing a fitness bootcamp at night so when I get home it's pretty much straight to bed. Ok, first. My grandpa was diagnosed with lung cancer last week. This has been pretty hard to deal with. Actually, I'm not sure I know how to deal with it. I've never lost anyone in my family (minus my baby of course). Right now I'm just praying for God to either heal him or if it's time for him to go to heal my family and know he is in a better place. As of now he is not going anywhere though. He had surgery yesterday to remove 1/3 of his lung. He took a while to wake up, but when he did he was back to his witty self. He is doing amazing. Please just keep my family in your prayers.

I also had my 10 year high school reunion this past weekend. It was so much fun. I can't believe 10 years have gone by so quickly. I saw a lot of old friends. I still wish more would have came. Here is a pic of all the girls and me and my husband.




We did our 3rd and final IUI yesterday. This one actually was pretty painful. I'm not sure what was so different, but I cramped all night. I'm actually thinking I ovulated the day before which would be the earliest I think I have ever ovulated. Don't worry we have our bases covered ;). It's almost bittersweet knowing this is the last one. It has become such a part of me and who I am. At the same time I'm so happy to put this behind me. Even if we do have to move on to IVF at least it's something new and more promising. Prayers Prayers and more Prayers please.

A Little Overwhelmed

If you've noticed a lack of my "i'm pregnant" post, it's because I"M NOT! Imagine that. I went in for my 3rd and final pre- IUI work up today. Nothing new to do this month. I did however discuss how we are ready to move on to IVF after this cycle if it doesn't work. My Dr. said he is willing to entertain the idea and sent me to get the IVF packet. I never thought reading material could get one person so overwhelmed and worked up. I knew that IVF was an invasive procedure, but reading the actual day to day steps just somehow hit me really hard. I actually starting crying reading it. Not only am I overwhelmed with the actual process, but I also have to figure out some way to go to frequent Dr. appointments and have surgery without telling work. I just moved to a new position and I really just don't want them knowing this part of my life. Most of it is because I don't want the constant questions and looks wondering if I'm pregnant yet. If you know what I mean? Another thing that hit me like a ton of bricks is the cost of things. Again, yes I knew how much it was, but now to see it broken down is crazy. We have to attend an IVF class on Aug 17th and just the class is $77.00. Then we will randomly be paying $44.00 (unless insurance covers this) for office visits such as getting tested for HIV, Hepatitis, blood type, and cholesterol. Who does this to have a baby? Us apparently. And not to mention the enormous amount of meds I will be on and have to pay for. So next time we tell you we can't afford hamburger buns, we have a reason. I have been spending a lot of time in prayer lately. I am trying to come to better terms with why we are going through this. Why we have to sacrifice so much when others don't. I just keep picturing holding our baby for the first time and know that this will all be worth it someday.

If this IUI doesn't work I will start the IVF process which starts with birth control pills (ironic yes) on August 28th. My surgery for retrieval of my eggs would be around October 9th and the transfer would take place around 3-5 days later. That would put me finding out around October 23rd. Seems like so far away.