Happy Birthday Little Miracles

One year ago today is the day my life changed forever.  I would have never guessed seeing those two little faces for the first time would fill my life as much as it has. These boys are the reason for my life.  They are my purpose.  I can't believe they are a year old today. The time has flown and I'm not ok with it, but I guess I don't have a choice. Being able to be a mom has been the most wonderful, heartwarming experience.  I cherish every day I have with them.  These boys have completely stole my heart. 

We had their party yesterday. It was a complete success.  All the people that matter the most in their lives were there.  These boys are going to grow up with a great family and I love that for them.  They dug in to their smash cakes and hammed it up for everyone.  They didn't have much intereset in opening presents, but that's the other perk of being a mom.  You get to do it for them.  They had a great time playing with all their toys last night.  Here are a few pics from the party.  The ones with the boys actually in them are on my mother in laws camera, so I'll post those later.

I am so incredibly proud of these boys and can't wait to watch them grow up.  (slowly please)  They make every morning worth waking up at 5am.  I'm currently listening to Robert tickle Beckham and he is laughing like crazy.  Moments like these make me realize how blessed I am. There is nothing better than the sound of those boys.  I love them more than I could ever express.  Happy Birthday my little Monkey and little Monster. 

1st Birthday Pics and a Surprise

I have so many pictures to post, but need to find the time.  Wait... I mean I need to stop going to bed at 7:30 and post them.  Until then these will have to do.  Nicole Hager did our maternity and newborn pictures.  We absolutely L-O-V-E her work.  So of course we called upon her to do the boys 1st year pics.  She is seriously amazing! Here are a couple that we put on their 1st Birthday invitations.  I will share the rest after the party.  I can't believe it's time for the party :(

Now for the surprise

There is a new (God Willing) Baby Baker coming January 12th.

This was a big surprise.  Of course we were not trying with 10 month old (at that time) twin boys.  We had talked about having a third child, but always wondered if we really would because of how expensive it would be.  I guess God made that decision for us.  I am almost 9 wks, so I still have a few more weeks to go before I feel somewhat safe.  I am sick again this time. It is nothing compared to the boys, but it is still miserable and 24 hours a day.  I officially resent woman who do not have morning sickness! Actually I worship you.  We are both freaking out about how we are going to do this financially.  It's one of those situations where you should trust God, but you just can't understand how he will make this work.  I stress about money as it is.  I know we will find a way though.  After all we have been through this is a huge blessing.

Reflections

Beckham
I miss you kicking my bladder
I miss hearing your heartbeat on the doppler
I miss your hands raised in the air like you have a question
I miss your first little smiles
I miss your preemie diapers
I miss your preemie outfits
I miss the way your little body fit perfectly on my chest
I miss you all wrapped up in your swaddle
I miss the way you always had to be touching your brother
I will miss your precious baby giggle
I will miss the way you say "da" in your whisper voice
I will miss the way you bounce in your crib
I will miss the way you crack up laughing because you think your brother is chasing you
I will miss the way your roll them up
I will miss the way you instantly fall asleep when you are in my arms
I will miss seeing your mouth constantly suck when you are sleeping
I will miss feeling you stroke my hair when you are sleeping next to me
I will miss those tiny hands and tiny feet

Brody
I miss you getting hiccups in my belly
I miss you beating up your brother in my belly
I miss hearing your heartbeat on the doppler
I miss your grunts when you were a baby
I miss your smiles when you slept as a baby
I miss your big kissable lips
I miss seeing you wrapped up in your swaddle as your head made its way to your brother
I miss your preemie diapers
I miss your preemie outfits
I miss they way your fit perfectly on my chest
I will miss the way you close your eyes and let out a loud scream
I will miss your open mouth kisses
I will miss those big blue eyes staring at me when I am holding you at night
I will miss you cuddling next to me at 4am
I will miss seeing you kiss your brother
I will miss seeing you shake your head no
I will miss seeing you play patty cake
I will miss those tiny hands and tiny feet

I think I get now why people are usually on to their second kid at this age.  The babies are starting to turn in to little boys (toddlers).  They are becoming more and more independent.  I truly miss them as babies.  I hope I am taking in as much as a I can every day. Time flies too fast now and I sometimes feel like I don't have time to stop and just be.  Anytime their little hands grab on to mine I take a minute, close my eyes and try to remember that I will miss this. I want to remember what they felt like, the way they smelled, the way they looked at me. EVERYTHING! As much as I hate that they are growing up I know that these days are getting better and better. They learn so much right now and they can call me mom. They interact now. They kiss me now. They are so much fun and the older they get the more I miss them during the day. Not that I didn't miss them before, but you know what I mean. It's everything I've ever wanted in life. I just hope it slows down a little because this happened way too fast!

PS.  Does anyone know why my pics upload sideways? 

Blog Barf

I’m calling this a blog barf because I have a lot of updating to do. So instead of several different blogs I’m just going to do it in one. Hope you have grabbed some coffee.

Easter

The boys woke up to their cute little Easter baskets. Brody had a great time taking everything out and putting it in his mouth. Beckham just got one thing out and chewed on it. They got some great new toys. I really thought they would be more interested in their truck, but just not yet I guess. They loved the blocks and mommy and daddy loved the candy. We went out to my aunts that day for Easter dinner and egg hunt. Of course the boys didn’t really get to hunt, but they got a nice taste of a colored egg. I must say they looked very handsome.

First Hospital Overnight Stay

We have had our first official BIG scare as parents. Last Wed night about midnight Robert woke me up to tell me he was worried about Brody. I asked what he meant and he said he was breathing really heavy. I rush in there and he was taking very short heavy breaths. I immediately picked him up and notice something wasn’t right. We gave him a breathing treatment and then laid him in bed with us. He woke up again about 3:00 still breathing very deep and extremely cranky like he couldn’t get comfortable. I took his temperature and it was 101.3. We immediately decided we needed to take him in to the hospital to get checked out. We got checked in to the ER and his oxygen level was at 91, dropping to 89 at times. He was retracting while breathing which is apparently not good. They proceeded to give him 3 breathing treatments which were each double the dose of what we give at home and a steroid pill. Even after those 3 his oxygen was still at 91. They called our pediatrician to decide what he wanted to do. In the meantime they ran an iv of fluids and did a urine and blood test. They discovered he was dehydrated and he had a high amount of sugar in his blood. It was over 220. A normal fasting blood sugar level is between 80-120. Our Dr called backed and said he wanted to admit him. He was going to come by to check on him as soon as we got in our room. Of course the minute he was up there his oxygen level had gone up to 100%. Right before we went up the Dr in the ER had finally given him oxygen through a mask, so apparently that helped. He said we were just going to monitor him for the day and watch his sugar levels and we should be able to go home that night. Well the 100% didn’t last long and his temperature kept spiking and when they retested his blood sugar it was still 170. So he told us we were staying overnight for further observation. We did breathing treatments every four hours along with this awesome powered nose sucker. I was really worried about how difficult it would be to tame a 10 month old who can’t move because he was hooked up to monitors, but he was especially sweet and cuddling and pretty much just laid with us the whole time. The night was pretty miserable because they come in every hour to do something, so needless to say none of us got sleep for a good 48 hours. His oxygen stayed steady through Friday morning and no more temperature spikes. They rechecked his blood sugar and it was back down to 80 something. So we got to go home Friday morning. He went back in this week for a check up and they said he sounded and looked great. It was a severe bronchiolitis and he thinks his lungs were still weak from having RSV a few weeks prior. Come to find out they also had put some sugar something or another in his iv fluids which made his levels spike. OH lovely ER people. They treated us great though so I will not complain. I’m just happy my baby is ok. We are continuing breathing treatments right now and just keeping a close eye on him and Beckham just in case.

Weight Loss

I would just like to take a moment to brag on myself. I am currently 10 lbs lighter from when I got pregnant with the boys. I attribute this to not having a million hormones pumped in to my body anymore and the lack of stress from trying to conceive. I feel great and hoping for another 10 lbs to come off soon.

House

We are currently in the process of trying to sell our house. We built this house when Robert and I were getting married and it was perfect for just us. Now that we have added two little busy guys to our family we have just ran out of space. There is no backyard for these boys to play in. We got our first offer yesterday. While this is exciting, it is also kind of sad. I am the sentimental type so there are so many things connected to this house. This was the boys first home. We set up their first room there and brought them home for the first time to this house. So many memories we will be leaving behind, but so many to look forward to in whichever home we chose. We want to give these boys so much and a new place with lots of room for them to play is just the start of that. There are so many decisions to be made. Like the right school district, the right neighborhood. I hope they love where they grow up. It’s amazing the way things change when you have children.

Back to the Dr.

If there are any guys that read my blog, you may want to skip this section. Just saying!  So today I am headed back to my OB/GYN.  It's weird to think I haven't been to the Dr in a long time considering about a year ago and for the previous 3 years, my drs were very familiar and well acquainted with my lady parts.  Ever since I got my periods back post partum they have been horrible!  A lot of people have told me that theirs were bad too after their babies, but let me tell you mine are not normal.  AT ALL!  Very heavy and very long.  Pretty much through to ovulation.  Yes I can still tell when I'm ovulating.  I was well trained for over 3 years :)  So today I will go in to figure out what is going on and what to do.  My fear is that she will tell me I need to be back on birth control.  Something I have said I refuse to do after trying for a baby for 3.2 years. A few good friends of mine reminded me though that my life now is about the two babies I have and my health for them.  Birth control is not always bad.  I have a huge fear that I will not be able to have any more children (we just want one more), but that should not even be in my thoughts now.  I need to take care of me so I can take care of them.  If for some reason this does turn in to something that does not allow that for us, then I will be very thankful still that God did bless us with these two amazing full of life boys. I have to remind myself sometimes to count my blessings for today and not for the what ifs of the future.

Pics

Now how about just some cute pics of my awesome little guys.  I want to cry at how big they are getting.  Yesterday at daycare I was telling them bye and with his big boy open shut wave, Beckham waved bye.  I literally cried.  What happened to my babies?

Overwhelmed

I don't get overwhelmed much as a mom, especially as a mom to twins, but here lately I am. And not for the reasons one might think. Yes, I cannot take my eyes off them for two seconds or they will be in the dog bowl and yes, it's an extra 30 minutes added on to our morning getting two boys ready and yes, they cry at the same time. But those things are easy. Those things make our life fun and unpredictable. What I am overwhelmed with is this constant sickness. Over the past few months both kids have been constantly sick. I'm talking MAYBE one week out of the month do they feel good. We have constant ear infections, constant runny noses, constant coughs, which means constant throwing up. It's one of those times as a mom you are completely helpless. You can't do anything to make your babies feel better or make it go away. I lay in my bed at night with tears streaming down my face because all I can hear is my poor babies coughing their heads off and trying to breathe through all the snot. I have been feeling this extreme guilt for working lately. Sending them to daycare is what is getting them sick. I just want to be able to take off one month so they can stay home and get healthy. We don't get to enjoy them and they don't get to enjoy life. I know that sounds dramatic, but that's how I feel. I feel like I'm missing out on our babies growing up because all they want to do is lay around or sleep. They are always fussy because they don't get any sleep at night. And just when we feel like we have them sleep trained AGAIN, bam another sickness hits. This also means we don't get any sleep. Which is fine. I'd rather cuddle my little boys anyday when they are sick, but at some point we need that sleep to function. It's gets exhausting. Not to mention I am now taking leave without pay. And that is still with our family members helping out as much as they can. This is another guilt. I am their mother and I can't even take off as much as I'd like to care for them. We are also paying a large amount of money for a daycare they can't even attend more than 2 days a week. I hate these feelings that I am having. I guess I'll just keep holding out for that 1st birthday. That's when every tells me it gets better. Until then pray for this momma, because I'm overwhelmed!





Well I was going to upload some pics, but apparently I have become computer illiterate. They are all sideways now and wont turn. I'll figure it out soon :)

Month 9

Here we are again.  Another month down.  Can someone please tell time to go slower!  The boys are growing and learning like crazy.  I realize that all the things they learn are part of their development, but I seriously can't help but be one proud momma.  They are so smart and are doing things before the average age.  Not trying to brag, but I just really worried about this with them being twins and born at 37.4 weeks.  You know, because the world tries to scare you with that nonsense.  Anyway, poo on you people because our boys are strong, healthy and brilliant!

Beckham

Weight 15lbs 13oz (2%)
Length 27.5 in (21%)
Head 17.5 in (37%)
Milestones:  Says Dada, Mama, Buba, Nana.  This kid is verbally advanced :)  Pulls up on anything and everything, but gets stuck and doesn't know how to get down. It's pretty dang cute.  He now gives me open mouth kisses.  He is still just the most laid back little guy. He has been really laughing lately.  He will get his little giggle box turned on and you could just do about anything and he will think you are the funniest person in the world.  He has started doing this thing where he crawls towards something and opens his mouth like he is going to attack it like a monster.  So cute!!!!!  He has one tooth.  Working on another.

Brody

Weight 16lbs 11oz (8%)
Length 27.5 in (21%)
Head 17 in (8%)
Milestones: Still just says Dada (non-stop).  He loves to scream!  He pulls up on anything and everything and has recently started leaning back while holding on.  Then just lets go to bounce on his bottom.  It's hilarious.  He loves doing it in his crib because he bounces. He shakes his head no. We think this is cute now, but probably wont in a few months.  He plays patty cake and he still loves to give his momma kisses.  This little turd had an attitude and is seriously going to be a handful.  He knows what he wants and he is determined to have it his way.  He bullies his little (big) brother.  Constantly stealing his paci and bottle.  He will crawl right over him like he isn't even there.  This is probably why this kid knows no already.  He gets told it often.  He has one tooth. Working on another.

Both boys are just really taking off growing developmentally.  It's so amazing to be a part of watching this every day.  Sometimes I feel like I need to pinch myself to know this is real.  I really finally am a mom.  And not just a mom.  One of the most blessed moms in the world with TWO amazing baby boys.  I got my pregnancy journal out the other day.  I was looking at old ultrasound pics and reading my comments about the boys in my stomach.  We got a good laugh because I had written how Brody was always wanting to pose for the camera and Beckham would be shy and turn his head.  It's amazing because that is kind of how it is.  I sit in disbelief that they went from the tiny little peanuts in my belly to what they are today.  They haven't been sleeping that great at night, but I think their teeth bother them.  I finally put blankets in there with them and it has definitely helped Beckham.  He loves to feel things.  We have tried some new foods.  They have had crackers, cheese puffs, cheese, fries, pizza (bread), and pancakes.  I'm slowly working out my fear on this.  1st birthday planning is in full force.  I'm probably going way overboard, but I just can't help it.  They only turn 1 once!  I just can't believe it's only 3 months away.

Happy 9 months to the most incredibly precious little boys in the world.  Momma loves you more than I will ever be able to express.  You have filled my heart!

 You'll have to excuse the sideways pic. It wouldn't allow me to save it the correct direction.

 We finally found some umbrella strollers.  I didn't realize these things were so hard to come by these days.  This sure is easier than the oversized limo.

My Boys Grew Up a Little More

This weekend was kind of a big weekend at our household. Well in baby milestone terms anyways. Both boys pulled up by themselves for the first time. They both took steps by themselves on their walker. And little Mr. Beckham got his first tooth. We knew something was off with him because he just really wasn't interested in eating much last week and all weekend he would not let us put him down. He would be out cold and the second he hit his bed it was pure terror like the worst thing in the world just happened. I decided Sunday morning to stick my finger in his mouth and there it was. The sharp little tooth poking its way through. Brody now has a white spec on his gums so I'm assuming his will be coming through any day. They are everywhere now. We literally cannot take our eyes off of them for two seconds. We are currently searching for a round gate. If you think it's torture, I challenge you to come watch them for an hour :) They are getting so much fun. Really setting in to their own personalities. I think Brody will honestly be walking in a month. I don't think Beckham will be far behind. We have our 9 month check up on Friday. I can't wait to see how much they have grown. Hopefully they are out of that 4th percentile!  Oh I almost forgot.  We tried pasta and cheese puffs this weekend.  They loved it!  I can't believe it's time for big boy food.  It scares the crap out of me, but I'm slowly adjusting. 




Big Boy Brody



Sweet Little Beckham



Hang on Bubba