Sunday, November 15, 2009

It May Have Hit

I've kept wondering when it's going to be too much to handle.  I honestly think it might have finally happened.  With passing my angel baby's due date and now the first month seeing the RE being a bust I just can't handle it right now.  The pain is so great I can't even explain it.  I've been crying today just out of nowhere.  Life isn't suppose to be like this.  Why does everyone else get to have their families and we don't.  I've been patient.  I'm tired of it.  I'm tired of ALL of it.  I'm tired of hearing people say "are you sure you want children" just after their child throws a fit or "it will happen when it's suppose to" or "you are an amazing person, God will bless you".  Screw it all.  There is nothing I have wanted more in my entire life than to become a mom, and I can't even make that happen.  I really don't want to do this anymore.  

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"Neither this man nor his parents sinned," said Jesus, "but this happened so that the work of God might be displayed in his life. John 9:3