I Get It

In the beginning of this process I kept thinking how easy it was. Wondering why they said it was so stressful and hard on your body. I thought the birth control was a piece of cake, the lupron injections were easy, and even the stims were easy. I especially thought it was nice not having to take my temperature every morning or "HAVING" to have baby making sex. I think itwas right before Embryo Retrieval, when all of the sudden I got it. I knew what they were talking about and have since been reminded daily of how stressful and emotional IVF is. It starts with going in to the Retrieval scared that they wont get any good eggs. Then they make you wait 24 hours to tell you if any even fertilized. Then another 24 hours to tell if you have any babies still alive. And not to mention the Progesterone shots that take your breathe away. (I will come back to this). Now I am sitting here without a report since Saturday of how my babies are doing. My Embryo Transfer is today. This is the day that seals the deal. There is nothing I can do from here. At the end of this next week and a half I will either be pregnant or a I won't. I have not slept very well for the past few nights. It is finally setting in that this could not work. I am trying to be very positive, but at some point I also have to face the reality.

Back to the Progesterone. The first two shots did not hurt that bad. I was actually surprised thinking, ok this is going to be a piece of cake. But then from those 2 on they have hurt like hell. It literally takes my breathe away. Pretty sure I was almost in tears yesterday morning. Not to mention my butt/hip is so sore from the injections that when I turn in my sleep it wakes me up because it hurts so bad. I have already been playing schemes in my head of how I can get the Dr to give me suppositories if I am pregant instead of this stupid thing. Yes, it's that bad.

On a really happy note, I have some pretty amazing friends. I walked out on my porch last night to a huge basket of goodies. I wish I would have taken a pic to show, but I was so excited to see what was inside. I got a robe, two pairs of sweatpants, tons of magazines, Twilight, 3 movies, an amazingly soft blanket, and lots of candy. This is exactly why I feel like people should not keep Infertility quiet. I cannot imagine doing this without all of the wonderul support I have. I am not ashamed of what I am going through and I'm so blessed to have friends and family that are here to support and pray for me and Robert.

7 hours and counting and I will officially have two babies inside me. Then bedrest until Thursday. I will update everyone on what quality of eggs were transferred. Then after that you may not be hearing from me for a while.