Thursday, October 21, 2010

Here We Are

51 shots
1 month birth control
1 semen workup (for Robert obviously)
1 mock transfer
2 rounds antibiotics
1 HIV etc test (for each of us)
6 vaginal ultrasounds
4 estrogen blood draws
1 surgery (ER)
1 ET
and roughly $500 (so far)

Here I find us in the two week wait. This is the scariest part of it all. In just one short week I will have my blood results. Positive or Negative.

We transferred two embies. One Grade B and one Grade D. The Dr said that the majority they transfer are C's and D's. So I know we had at least one really good one. We had no babies left to freeze. This actually comes as a huge relief to me, because if you can remember I struggled with this decision BIG TIME! I'm glad that God chose it for me. It also means though that if this doesn't work we have exhausted our IF coverage. We are not going to worry about that now though.

Bedrest was pretty miserable just like I thought it would be. The worst part was my back. It was killing me by Tuesday morning. They tell you have to lay on it too, and my cute husband was on back patrol. He would keep coming in there and making me turn on my back. I kept occupied with the magazines and movies and I did pick up Twilight. I am on chapter 8 and plan to read more today. So far it's good, but I'm still waiting for it to get really good. Robert made me breakfast, lunch and dinner everyday. My MIL stopped by yesterday and brought some stew. Robert was probably happy he didn't have to cook for me anymore lol.

I am currently 3dp5dt. For those that don't know the terminology that is 3 days past 5 day transfer or 8 days past ovulation in a normal cycle. I am already so anxious to test, but I will wait it out. Keep the prayers coming. We appreciate them!

Monday, October 18, 2010

I Get It

In the beginning of this process I kept thinking how easy it was. Wondering why they said it was so stressful and hard on your body. I thought the birth control was a piece of cake, the lupron injections were easy, and even the stims were easy. I especially thought it was nice not having to take my temperature every morning or "HAVING" to have baby making sex. I think itwas right before Embryo Retrieval, when all of the sudden I got it. I knew what they were talking about and have since been reminded daily of how stressful and emotional IVF is. It starts with going in to the Retrieval scared that they wont get any good eggs. Then they make you wait 24 hours to tell you if any even fertilized. Then another 24 hours to tell if you have any babies still alive. And not to mention the Progesterone shots that take your breathe away. (I will come back to this). Now I am sitting here without a report since Saturday of how my babies are doing. My Embryo Transfer is today. This is the day that seals the deal. There is nothing I can do from here. At the end of this next week and a half I will either be pregnant or a I won't. I have not slept very well for the past few nights. It is finally setting in that this could not work. I am trying to be very positive, but at some point I also have to face the reality.

Back to the Progesterone. The first two shots did not hurt that bad. I was actually surprised thinking, ok this is going to be a piece of cake. But then from those 2 on they have hurt like hell. It literally takes my breathe away. Pretty sure I was almost in tears yesterday morning. Not to mention my butt/hip is so sore from the injections that when I turn in my sleep it wakes me up because it hurts so bad. I have already been playing schemes in my head of how I can get the Dr to give me suppositories if I am pregant instead of this stupid thing. Yes, it's that bad.

On a really happy note, I have some pretty amazing friends. I walked out on my porch last night to a huge basket of goodies. I wish I would have taken a pic to show, but I was so excited to see what was inside. I got a robe, two pairs of sweatpants, tons of magazines, Twilight, 3 movies, an amazingly soft blanket, and lots of candy. This is exactly why I feel like people should not keep Infertility quiet. I cannot imagine doing this without all of the wonderul support I have. I am not ashamed of what I am going through and I'm so blessed to have friends and family that are here to support and pray for me and Robert.

7 hours and counting and I will officially have two babies inside me. Then bedrest until Thursday. I will update everyone on what quality of eggs were transferred. Then after that you may not be hearing from me for a while.

Saturday, October 16, 2010

My Babies Day 3

Seriously, the wait for these phone calls is brutal. I will not be waiting for any more though. Today was the final update. I will now have to wait until I go in for my transfer which is scheduled for Monday at 2:15.
Here are today's numbers:

(1) 8 cell-Best one
(2) 7 cell- one is no change from yesterday
(2) 6 cell- good but she wishes they would have been at least 7
(4) 5 cell
(1) 4 cell- no change from yesterday

She said that the ones that are no change they will let sit for another 24 hours and if they still have no change they are discarded. I asked her if she was pretty confident that we would have at least one to transfer for Monday and she said she would be pretty suprised if we didn't.

I can't wait for Monday now. Well minus the bedrest. We have spent the weekend preparing. We went out and bought some easy food for Robert to make and a bed tray. A friend is bringing over some magazines and the first Twilight. Never really been interested in it, but hey I have 3 days to kill. We are still searching for some dog stairs for our bed. Rylan loves to play a game of jump down, want back up, jump down, want back up. I know I am going to go stir crazy, but it's for the best. We want that baby to snuggle in nice and tight.

Friday, October 15, 2010

Update Day 2

I don't really know much about what all this means, but here is the report for today:

(1) 7 cell
(1) 5 cell
(1) 3 cell
(2) 4 cell
(5) 2 cell

I was told that on Day 2 you want them to be anywhere between 2-4 or higher. So in my opinion it's looking ok. Also, if your counting skills are on it looks like that 10th one made the cut. I will get my final (I think) update tomorrow and they will schedule my transfer.

Thursday, October 14, 2010

We Have Babies

Let me first start off by saying how horrible the wait for that phone call was. I imagined every possible scenario on the other end of that line. Of course they were all the worst. Good news is they called before lunch time so I didn't have to wait long. Here are day 1's numbers

out of 13 eggs
9 Fertilized
2 polyspermic(meaning two sperm got in-not usable)
1 pronuclei (not sure what this really means but it could still turn in to a possible egg)
1 Immature (not usable)

I'm so happy with the results so far. I feel so blessed for things to still being going so well. I know they could turn at any minute. I am still a little bloated today and can feel pain in my ovaries a little more, but still nothing too big. Today was my last day of work for 10 days! I'm excited. I could possibly be a pregnant woman when I go back. Of course no one will know that :)

Wednesday, October 13, 2010

Embryo Retrieval

We got to the hospital around 7:30 this morning. They took us back and got my IV hooked up. Within minutes it was time to go back. It's so neat because they do it all in the Fertility clinic. It makes you feel a lot more comfortable. I walked myself to the operating room and laid on the table. It didn't take long for them to shoot me up with the good stuff and I was out. I secretly wish I could be put to sleep like that every night. Of course the first question I asked when I woke up was how many did they get. And apparantely I kept forgetting I had already asked that because each time I did Robert would laugh at me and say you already asked that. Excuse me! lol.

Ok drum roll please................13 eggs. I'm so pleased with this number. I had this really big fear going in this morning that they would only get a few. I even gave myself a pep talk saying it only takes one. I feel pretty good. Just some minor cramping and bloating. Oh and apparently we had a pretty big earthquake today and I was out for it.

I also had to start my Progesterone shot today. You know the one with the 2" needle. I was so scared. Almost in tears actually. The nurse drew some nice little smiley faces on my butt to guide Robert. He asked if I was ready and this time he didn't hesitate. It went right in. I barely felt it. Thank you Lord! I will be on this shot for the next 2 weeks and possible through my 1st trimester(if applicable). I will get my update tomorrow to see how many fertilized. I'm not going to be able to concentrate on anything else until I get that call. Thanks for all the prayers. They are working.

Monday, October 11, 2010

4th and Final Follicle Check

Today was my last follicle check. The Dr and nurse had very pleasing comments and looks on their faces when they saw my follicles. I can't ever remember sizes so I secretly took a picture of my print out! I now have 10 follicles that are growing beautifully. Here are the sizes. The bottom number i what they consider the avg size. So that is what you are looking at. And 9.2 is my lining.

I just took my last shot of Lupron and I will be triggering tonight at 9 pm. So if anyone wants to play a cruel pregnancy joke on their signifigant other I will be able to produce a positive pregnancy test for about 5 days. Embryo Retrieval will be at 8am Wednesday morning. Lots of prayers please.

Saturday, October 9, 2010

Follicle Check 3

We got up this morning at 7:00am (yes on a Saturday) to go to our 3rd check up. The Dr was the only one there so he actually drew my blood. He cracked some jokes and made some small talk with us. He is definitely more laid back on the weekends. I'm starting to get use to him and it's a good thing because he's had more action than my husband lately. Don't worry people Robert has been there everytime. LOL. He then did my ultrasound. My lining is at 8 which is where is has to be before retrieval. So we are good to go in that area. My dominant follicle is now at 15 so we are set to Trigger on Monday with Retrieval on Wednesday.

I turned in my pre-op papers today. I have the instructions for post Retreival and post transfer. Some of them are kind of funny. I can't believe that it is almost here. I remember starting the birth control thinking that it was going to be a lifetime away. In 4 short days I will officially be in the two week wait. AHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Friday, October 8, 2010

A Little Video

Ok, so I decided i wanted to take a video of myself giving shots. You all read about it and some of you have actually done it, but I thought it would be neat to show what I do with my evenings. Ok so it's only about 10 minutes of my evening, but still. So here is your warning if you get light headed watching needles, do not continue with this post. My camera ran out of space mid film, so I had to start it over. That is why there are two. Enjoy!

Now notice how serious my face is lol. This is serious business.

Thursday, October 7, 2010

Follicle Check 2

My follicles are still growing nicely. My Dr made the comment that my right side was doing a little better than the left, but that is no big deal. My largest follicle measured at 11 and they want it to be at 18 before we trigger. They increase by 2 every day, so that moves our retrieval date to Wednesday, Oct 13th. We were a little dissapointed because we had already taken our days off work and things with my bedrest had worked to where it fell on the weekend and Robert didn't have to take extra days off. One of the biggest upsets is that I was suppose to go to the Carrie Underwood concert on the 20th. I will now be on bedrest. This is when my inner child sets in and I want to scream "IT'S NOT FAIR". However, I will be doing whatever I can to make this work even if it means giving up my social life. Our next appointment is Sat and we will have one more on Monday. I will continue to give updates. Oh and my meds are still staying the same.

Wednesday, October 6, 2010

Follicle Check 1

I had my first appointment yesterday to check my follicles and do some blood work. I was super nervous going in because we could find out that I'm not responding to the stims and there are no eggs or very little eggs developing. Well that wasn't the case. They counted 14 follicles. She informed me that some may never develop in to anything, but I'm ok with that. The Dr likes to have at least 7 at retrieval, so we are on the road for success. My blood work was also good and they did not change my dosage of meds. I'm getting so excited. I can't believe my retrieval is Monday. Time really has flown.

Update on the shots. I am done with the Gonal F, and am now only on Lupron and Repronex. The Repronex has still not burned, however it does leave a huge knot on my stomach and makes it very sore. I'm running out of stomach space. Good thing I will be done with these shots on Friday!! I have my next appointment tomorrow. I will give another update then.

Sunday, October 3, 2010

22 Shots Down

22 shots down and roughly 32 more to go. This is being very hopeful that if I am pregnant that they will switch the progesterone shot to a suppository or a pill. I started my stimulation shots yesterday. I take my Gonal F at 6am and then my Repronex and Lupron at 6pm. I was super nervous because these were new shots and I had been told that the Repronex had been known to burn. I also was pretty nervous because the Repronex I had to mix myself. I had a minor freak out moment when I was trying to load the syringe with the liquid and it wouldn't stay pulled back. It just kept suctioning back. But I got it all figured out. My hands were shaking as I mixed it all. I got the needle in and braced myself for major burn. NOTHING! It was so simple, other than it taking longer because it is more liquid. Now I feel like I did something wrong though lol.

I have to admit, this process has been really easy. The money and just getting the meds have been the only stressful parts. I expected to be over the top maxed on stress level. I don't know if it is just because we have been through so much, that I'm excited to be at this point or If I'm finally just letting it all go. Either way I feel like my life has returned to a somewhat normal (fertile) life. And yes I realize how contradicting that sounds.

The Lord himself goes before you and will be with you; He will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; Do not be discouraged. Deuteronomy 31:8

God is Good!!!!
"Neither this man nor his parents sinned," said Jesus, "but this happened so that the work of God might be displayed in his life. John 9:3