Blog Barf

I’m calling this a blog barf because I have a lot of updating to do. So instead of several different blogs I’m just going to do it in one. Hope you have grabbed some coffee.

Easter

The boys woke up to their cute little Easter baskets. Brody had a great time taking everything out and putting it in his mouth. Beckham just got one thing out and chewed on it. They got some great new toys. I really thought they would be more interested in their truck, but just not yet I guess. They loved the blocks and mommy and daddy loved the candy. We went out to my aunts that day for Easter dinner and egg hunt. Of course the boys didn’t really get to hunt, but they got a nice taste of a colored egg. I must say they looked very handsome.

First Hospital Overnight Stay

We have had our first official BIG scare as parents. Last Wed night about midnight Robert woke me up to tell me he was worried about Brody. I asked what he meant and he said he was breathing really heavy. I rush in there and he was taking very short heavy breaths. I immediately picked him up and notice something wasn’t right. We gave him a breathing treatment and then laid him in bed with us. He woke up again about 3:00 still breathing very deep and extremely cranky like he couldn’t get comfortable. I took his temperature and it was 101.3. We immediately decided we needed to take him in to the hospital to get checked out. We got checked in to the ER and his oxygen level was at 91, dropping to 89 at times. He was retracting while breathing which is apparently not good. They proceeded to give him 3 breathing treatments which were each double the dose of what we give at home and a steroid pill. Even after those 3 his oxygen was still at 91. They called our pediatrician to decide what he wanted to do. In the meantime they ran an iv of fluids and did a urine and blood test. They discovered he was dehydrated and he had a high amount of sugar in his blood. It was over 220. A normal fasting blood sugar level is between 80-120. Our Dr called backed and said he wanted to admit him. He was going to come by to check on him as soon as we got in our room. Of course the minute he was up there his oxygen level had gone up to 100%. Right before we went up the Dr in the ER had finally given him oxygen through a mask, so apparently that helped. He said we were just going to monitor him for the day and watch his sugar levels and we should be able to go home that night. Well the 100% didn’t last long and his temperature kept spiking and when they retested his blood sugar it was still 170. So he told us we were staying overnight for further observation. We did breathing treatments every four hours along with this awesome powered nose sucker. I was really worried about how difficult it would be to tame a 10 month old who can’t move because he was hooked up to monitors, but he was especially sweet and cuddling and pretty much just laid with us the whole time. The night was pretty miserable because they come in every hour to do something, so needless to say none of us got sleep for a good 48 hours. His oxygen stayed steady through Friday morning and no more temperature spikes. They rechecked his blood sugar and it was back down to 80 something. So we got to go home Friday morning. He went back in this week for a check up and they said he sounded and looked great. It was a severe bronchiolitis and he thinks his lungs were still weak from having RSV a few weeks prior. Come to find out they also had put some sugar something or another in his iv fluids which made his levels spike. OH lovely ER people. They treated us great though so I will not complain. I’m just happy my baby is ok. We are continuing breathing treatments right now and just keeping a close eye on him and Beckham just in case.

Weight Loss

I would just like to take a moment to brag on myself. I am currently 10 lbs lighter from when I got pregnant with the boys. I attribute this to not having a million hormones pumped in to my body anymore and the lack of stress from trying to conceive. I feel great and hoping for another 10 lbs to come off soon.

House

We are currently in the process of trying to sell our house. We built this house when Robert and I were getting married and it was perfect for just us. Now that we have added two little busy guys to our family we have just ran out of space. There is no backyard for these boys to play in. We got our first offer yesterday. While this is exciting, it is also kind of sad. I am the sentimental type so there are so many things connected to this house. This was the boys first home. We set up their first room there and brought them home for the first time to this house. So many memories we will be leaving behind, but so many to look forward to in whichever home we chose. We want to give these boys so much and a new place with lots of room for them to play is just the start of that. There are so many decisions to be made. Like the right school district, the right neighborhood. I hope they love where they grow up. It’s amazing the way things change when you have children.

Back to the Dr.

If there are any guys that read my blog, you may want to skip this section. Just saying!  So today I am headed back to my OB/GYN.  It's weird to think I haven't been to the Dr in a long time considering about a year ago and for the previous 3 years, my drs were very familiar and well acquainted with my lady parts.  Ever since I got my periods back post partum they have been horrible!  A lot of people have told me that theirs were bad too after their babies, but let me tell you mine are not normal.  AT ALL!  Very heavy and very long.  Pretty much through to ovulation.  Yes I can still tell when I'm ovulating.  I was well trained for over 3 years :)  So today I will go in to figure out what is going on and what to do.  My fear is that she will tell me I need to be back on birth control.  Something I have said I refuse to do after trying for a baby for 3.2 years. A few good friends of mine reminded me though that my life now is about the two babies I have and my health for them.  Birth control is not always bad.  I have a huge fear that I will not be able to have any more children (we just want one more), but that should not even be in my thoughts now.  I need to take care of me so I can take care of them.  If for some reason this does turn in to something that does not allow that for us, then I will be very thankful still that God did bless us with these two amazing full of life boys. I have to remind myself sometimes to count my blessings for today and not for the what ifs of the future.

Pics

Now how about just some cute pics of my awesome little guys.  I want to cry at how big they are getting.  Yesterday at daycare I was telling them bye and with his big boy open shut wave, Beckham waved bye.  I literally cried.  What happened to my babies?

Overwhelmed

I don't get overwhelmed much as a mom, especially as a mom to twins, but here lately I am. And not for the reasons one might think. Yes, I cannot take my eyes off them for two seconds or they will be in the dog bowl and yes, it's an extra 30 minutes added on to our morning getting two boys ready and yes, they cry at the same time. But those things are easy. Those things make our life fun and unpredictable. What I am overwhelmed with is this constant sickness. Over the past few months both kids have been constantly sick. I'm talking MAYBE one week out of the month do they feel good. We have constant ear infections, constant runny noses, constant coughs, which means constant throwing up. It's one of those times as a mom you are completely helpless. You can't do anything to make your babies feel better or make it go away. I lay in my bed at night with tears streaming down my face because all I can hear is my poor babies coughing their heads off and trying to breathe through all the snot. I have been feeling this extreme guilt for working lately. Sending them to daycare is what is getting them sick. I just want to be able to take off one month so they can stay home and get healthy. We don't get to enjoy them and they don't get to enjoy life. I know that sounds dramatic, but that's how I feel. I feel like I'm missing out on our babies growing up because all they want to do is lay around or sleep. They are always fussy because they don't get any sleep at night. And just when we feel like we have them sleep trained AGAIN, bam another sickness hits. This also means we don't get any sleep. Which is fine. I'd rather cuddle my little boys anyday when they are sick, but at some point we need that sleep to function. It's gets exhausting. Not to mention I am now taking leave without pay. And that is still with our family members helping out as much as they can. This is another guilt. I am their mother and I can't even take off as much as I'd like to care for them. We are also paying a large amount of money for a daycare they can't even attend more than 2 days a week. I hate these feelings that I am having. I guess I'll just keep holding out for that 1st birthday. That's when every tells me it gets better. Until then pray for this momma, because I'm overwhelmed!





Well I was going to upload some pics, but apparently I have become computer illiterate. They are all sideways now and wont turn. I'll figure it out soon :)

Month 9

Here we are again.  Another month down.  Can someone please tell time to go slower!  The boys are growing and learning like crazy.  I realize that all the things they learn are part of their development, but I seriously can't help but be one proud momma.  They are so smart and are doing things before the average age.  Not trying to brag, but I just really worried about this with them being twins and born at 37.4 weeks.  You know, because the world tries to scare you with that nonsense.  Anyway, poo on you people because our boys are strong, healthy and brilliant!

Beckham

Weight 15lbs 13oz (2%)
Length 27.5 in (21%)
Head 17.5 in (37%)
Milestones:  Says Dada, Mama, Buba, Nana.  This kid is verbally advanced :)  Pulls up on anything and everything, but gets stuck and doesn't know how to get down. It's pretty dang cute.  He now gives me open mouth kisses.  He is still just the most laid back little guy. He has been really laughing lately.  He will get his little giggle box turned on and you could just do about anything and he will think you are the funniest person in the world.  He has started doing this thing where he crawls towards something and opens his mouth like he is going to attack it like a monster.  So cute!!!!!  He has one tooth.  Working on another.

Brody

Weight 16lbs 11oz (8%)
Length 27.5 in (21%)
Head 17 in (8%)
Milestones: Still just says Dada (non-stop).  He loves to scream!  He pulls up on anything and everything and has recently started leaning back while holding on.  Then just lets go to bounce on his bottom.  It's hilarious.  He loves doing it in his crib because he bounces. He shakes his head no. We think this is cute now, but probably wont in a few months.  He plays patty cake and he still loves to give his momma kisses.  This little turd had an attitude and is seriously going to be a handful.  He knows what he wants and he is determined to have it his way.  He bullies his little (big) brother.  Constantly stealing his paci and bottle.  He will crawl right over him like he isn't even there.  This is probably why this kid knows no already.  He gets told it often.  He has one tooth. Working on another.

Both boys are just really taking off growing developmentally.  It's so amazing to be a part of watching this every day.  Sometimes I feel like I need to pinch myself to know this is real.  I really finally am a mom.  And not just a mom.  One of the most blessed moms in the world with TWO amazing baby boys.  I got my pregnancy journal out the other day.  I was looking at old ultrasound pics and reading my comments about the boys in my stomach.  We got a good laugh because I had written how Brody was always wanting to pose for the camera and Beckham would be shy and turn his head.  It's amazing because that is kind of how it is.  I sit in disbelief that they went from the tiny little peanuts in my belly to what they are today.  They haven't been sleeping that great at night, but I think their teeth bother them.  I finally put blankets in there with them and it has definitely helped Beckham.  He loves to feel things.  We have tried some new foods.  They have had crackers, cheese puffs, cheese, fries, pizza (bread), and pancakes.  I'm slowly working out my fear on this.  1st birthday planning is in full force.  I'm probably going way overboard, but I just can't help it.  They only turn 1 once!  I just can't believe it's only 3 months away.

Happy 9 months to the most incredibly precious little boys in the world.  Momma loves you more than I will ever be able to express.  You have filled my heart!

 You'll have to excuse the sideways pic. It wouldn't allow me to save it the correct direction.

 We finally found some umbrella strollers.  I didn't realize these things were so hard to come by these days.  This sure is easier than the oversized limo.

My Boys Grew Up a Little More

This weekend was kind of a big weekend at our household. Well in baby milestone terms anyways. Both boys pulled up by themselves for the first time. They both took steps by themselves on their walker. And little Mr. Beckham got his first tooth. We knew something was off with him because he just really wasn't interested in eating much last week and all weekend he would not let us put him down. He would be out cold and the second he hit his bed it was pure terror like the worst thing in the world just happened. I decided Sunday morning to stick my finger in his mouth and there it was. The sharp little tooth poking its way through. Brody now has a white spec on his gums so I'm assuming his will be coming through any day. They are everywhere now. We literally cannot take our eyes off of them for two seconds. We are currently searching for a round gate. If you think it's torture, I challenge you to come watch them for an hour :) They are getting so much fun. Really setting in to their own personalities. I think Brody will honestly be walking in a month. I don't think Beckham will be far behind. We have our 9 month check up on Friday. I can't wait to see how much they have grown. Hopefully they are out of that 4th percentile!  Oh I almost forgot.  We tried pasta and cheese puffs this weekend.  They loved it!  I can't believe it's time for big boy food.  It scares the crap out of me, but I'm slowly adjusting. 




Big Boy Brody



Sweet Little Beckham



Hang on Bubba

Bring on Year One

I know, I'm constantly saying how I wish things would slow down.  I know I am going to miss EVERY.SINGLE.THING that I love about their age. For the first time though I am ready to move past this stage.  What I am refering to is the stage where I keep getting told that they are under 1 and they are daycare babies so they are going to be sick.  As you know in the past two weeks we have had double pink eye and double ear infections.  Well they started getting worse Wednesday.  I got a call from daycare about 3:30 saying Brody was running a fever and we needed to come get him.  Of course I was in training and Robert rode with me so we couldn't leave.  Thank goodness for my mother who said she could leave work.  When I got to her house you could tell Brody didn't feel well and he was wheezing. They both starting in on coughing non stop that night.  The wheezing continued for Brody throughout the night and in to that morning.  Even after having an inhaler.  That morning I went in to take the boys to daycare.  I sat on the floor for 30 minutes crying because I knew they didn't need to be there, but didn't know what else to do.  I had no time off and Robert had already taken 4 days off in the past two weeks because of their sickness.  I finally packed them back up and decided I couldn't leave them there.  I called my mom on the way out and she hadn't left for work yet.  She told me to bring them on over.  Again thank goodness for my mother.  I had the hardest day at work.  My babies were so sick and I wasn't there to care for them.  I talked to my mom on and off that day and she said they were doing pretty good.  They were still coughing and wheezing and running fevers, but were eating. I of course am so sick of taking them to the Dr. that I was trying to hold off.  Plus they were already on an antibiotic. As I was headed to get the boys from my mom Thursday, I got a call from daycare at 4:45.  It was the owner letting me know one of the girls in their class tested positive for RSV.  Now sets in major panic.  My niece was hospitalized for RSV when she was a baby.  I tried calling the Dr, but of course it was after hours.  I didn't know whether they needed to be seen immediately or if it could wait.  I had to leave a message for the triage nurse to call me back.  15 long minutes later I got the call back.  Apparently it's not as scary in older infants.  She said as long as they aren't having trouble breathing it could wait until the morning.  The boys had a really rough night with the coughing, but I was happy they were going to get in to be seen.  When we got to the Dr I told her I wanted an RSV test and an x-ray of their chests.  She sent us off to the hospital for the testing. In the meantime she told us we were 0-4 on their ears. Yep, still have double ear infections.  We are now on Bactrim (sp?) She also prescribed a nebulizer.  Which I am super excited to now have at home.  She told us either way if the test is positive or negative we were to do breathing treatments every 4 hours through the weekend. Both boys were wheezing. Brody was worse than Beckham.  I don't know if you have ever witnessed an infant chest x-ray but it is pretty sad.  They lock them up in this little contraption.  I can't even explain it, but it was torture to watch two babies go through it.  (It doesn't hurt them by the way, just momma).  I got a call from the PA Friday night and she confirmed that they both tested positive for RSV.  I wonder how many more illnesses we can get in a two weeks span?  We have to be hitting a record.  I also have to throw in how I love that we are paying for a daycare we can’t even attend.  I’m so ready for this winter to be over.  The boys did so good with their breathing treatments.  I seriously have two of the best babies in the world!!!

8 Months OH MY

The boys are 8 months old. I know I say this every time, but seriously where is the time going. I feel like just yesterday I was watching their tiny little faces just sleep all day. Now they are crawling maniacs. We seriously cannot keep up with these two. Especially Brody. He is so curious. He wants to see every room in the house. We are now getting accident reports from daycare weekly because with mobility comes danger. Don't worry, nothing too serious. Just a few bumps and scratches from their girlfriends. They can both sit up now. Brody loves to crawl and then just sit right up. He is showing us how big of a boy he is. I'm sure they will be pulling up any day now. Beckham says mama and dada. I really think he knows the difference too because mama is mainly when he doesn't feel good or is crying. Dada is always when he is happy. Brody can say dada and baba. We are working on mama! He can click his tongue, wave goodbye and clap. These boys are just so full of personality now. Going home and making them laugh is the best way to end our day. We are really starting to get a glimpse in to how different they are going to be. Beckham is going to be just like his daddy. More reserved, but I think he is also going to be the class clown. Brody is going to be just like me. Loud and in charge. He is going to have to have things his way. Now for some pics. Gosh I love these boys!

Pulling at the Heart Strings

My heart has been pulled in a million directions over the past week.  It all started Friday night when I went out to dinner with my girlfriends.  I left the boys at home with Robert.  We had spent the day with the boys because we were off work and we noticed Beckham wasn't really feeling that well and he had some yellow goop coming from his eyes.  I got a text from Robert while I was out saying his eyes were getting really bad.  I got home about 11pm and both the boys were awake fussing like crazy. You could tell they didn't feel well and Beckham's eyes were almost matted shut.  We called the after hours number for our Pediatrician and the nurse told us that if he was draining then it probably was just a cold and not pink eye or RSV.  So we decided not to do anything.  They both slept in bed with us that night and when we got up the next morning it looked like things were getting better.  We made sure to keep Beckham's eyes cleaned out and nose sucked.  Like I've mentioned before Beckham is always sick and I've really gotten tired of putting him on Omoxicillan just for the cold to come back.  I was going to let this cold run it's course.  Well we woke up Sunday morning and Beckham's eyes had gotten worse and now Brody's eyes were doing the same thing.  We both knew at that point it was pink eye.  We had some snow storms that were suppose to move in so we decided to be safe and take them to the ER instead of chancing not being able to get out of the house Monday.  (I also had to be seen for my Endo which has apparently returned, but that is another post) Sure enough they both had pink eye. We then had to find a 24 hr pharmacy to fill there prescriptions and wait an hour and a half to get them filled. By the time we got home it was almost midnight.  They got their first dose that night and let me tell you these boys are not a fan of eye drops!!!  Brody is a pretty good little eye squincher.  I took off Monday because they obviously could not go to daycare.  I love spending the day with my babies.  The drops seem to be helping, that is until we woke up Tuesday morning to their eyes looking worse! Robert stayed home this time because I am running out of time off.  Beckham had been running 102 for two days so we decided he needed to be seen again.  Turns out he has double ear infections.  The Dr told us that if Brody is having the same symptoms he probably needs to be seen too.  So Robert took off again Wednesday to keep both them home and take Brody to the Dr.  Guess what?  He has double ear infections too.  I spent most of my work day Wednesday crying. Not only because I feel so bad for my sick babies, but because I can't be there with them.  I have this tremendous amount of mommy guilt. I have never been one to want to make my work more important than my family.  NEVER!  I have actually promised that this is not how it was going to be when I had a family.  My parents constantly worked and I vowed to be different.  But how can I?  I have to make money to pay bills and to put food in their mouth.  I have to make money so eventually they can play sports or do whatever it is in life that they want to do.  I want to provide.  But I'm stuck between providing monetary things and providing comfort and love and just ME! This mommy's heart is breaking in a million pieces and the sad thing is, it's just part of life.