Sunday, July 26, 2009
So I changed my mind
Well I got a wonderful little visit from an ugly ol' witch today. I'm pretty disappointed, but at the same time I somewhat have a sense of calmness. Not sure if I am just really trusting in God right now or what, but I am usually bawling my eyes out on this day. No tears shed here! We have also decided that we are not taking a break. WE CAN DO THIS!!!!! I will call the doctor tomorrow and get back on Clomid. The magic pill that got me knocked up the first time. We both want this child so bad and I am officially willing to do whatever it takes no matter how long it takes. I say this because I have been a little leery of if Clomid had anything to do with the miscarriage and I just haven't really known how I feel about all the drugs going in to my body or how much I'm willing to pay for all of this. I mean if it comes to IVF, that's about $15,000 a try, and get this it's not guaranteed. This just seems a little unfair considering most women get pg for free. We should get paid for our struggle. I know that's crazy, but good idea :) I wonder how high my expectations are going to be this month considering this pill worked last time? I really am going to relax this cycle. All of this is in God's hands. If I want to portray my faith to others I need to truly believe in this. So here I am God. ALL IN!!!! After all He has shown me some amazing things through this, and I already see His work being done through me. If this is why I am facing this struggle, so be it. I am helping others and that is truly what I am here for. To serve my God and no one else. So anyways that's the latest. I will start my pill on Thursday and go in for an ultrasound (more lovely bills) on August 4th. So please keep us in your prayers.