Friday, July 31, 2009

I miss my baby

I remember shortly after I found out the baby didn't have a heartbeat I was reading some blogs of woman who had gone through miscarriage.  They would talk about how it was the baby's due date and how much they still missed that child.  At that time I thought it was strange.  I mean I was obviously upset that this had happened, but I wasn't sure I was going to feel these same feelings.  After all I never really felt the baby move or saw a live picture of my child (other than it being a little bean).   I'm pretty sure reality just hadn't set in then.  As more time has passed and I've allowed myself to grieve and have anger and now I have finally settled in to a calm place.  With this calmness though has brought up a entirely new feeling.  I have been missing our child a lot lately.  It's so weird because like I said I never felt this child nor did we ever meet this child, but it was still ours.  Our baby whose life was cut way too short.  I can't wait till we are in heaven together and can see each other for the first time.  I know he/she is in good hands with God.   

"For I am the Lord, your God, who takes hold of your right hand and says to you, Do not fear; I will help you"  Isaiah 41:13

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"Neither this man nor his parents sinned," said Jesus, "but this happened so that the work of God might be displayed in his life. John 9:3